I never once showed my anger...My disatisfaction, my fear....Until now. HarlemAngel001: I wanted to believe you were different then all the other guys, I opened up to you. At first, I closed myself off, being the kind of person I am, I didn't want to get attached, wear my heart upon my sleeve...
But seeing the sincerity in your eyes when you said my name, whispered "babe" and "baby" in my ear over and over, feeling the sweet sensation of your warm breath on my skin, made me loosen up with you...
You were the nicest guy I had been with, nice guys were not something I was used too...You cradeled my hand in yours, you held my bag, you asked what I wanted to do, even if it was trouble for you.
I opened up completly. Felt safe in your embrace, you said my name and took me away from the past...You had plans for us, years down the road, I was so sure it would last. I felt feelings with you I had never known with anyone else...even my longest relationship...
Was it love?
Maybe...
The times where you would beg to see me, tell me how lucky you were to have me, made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
The ceaseless texts...The endless calls....
I miss that...I miss seeing you everyday, doing something all the time, looking into your eyes, and not being afraid to be myself, knowing you wouldn't think any differently if I was a goof.
But then something turned amiss....You distanced yourself from me, closed me off. Then that day...After one weekend, you were a completly different person...You did the thing I thought would never be possible...
Your broke up with me...And with it my heart shattered....
What went wrong, was it something I did? You said it wasn't, that it was you...
I'm sick of this. I'm sick of this Male PMS, your bi polar like tendicies. This Hot and Cold shit...After the break up, your a different person...You get easily adgitated, and depressed. We never even ONE fought during our time spent together....
You said you wanted to hang out this week...I sent you 3 messages...All read no replied....You said you would call...You didnt...Why am I not suprised? I left you a voice mail today....I doubt you'll return it...
This little hope I have of us comming back together? That's all I can go by now....I'm going insane w/o you, and I just want it back the way things were....
You say it's not me...But I can't erase from my mind, if I was prettier would it of been different? If I was skinner would it of changed? If I was more fun to be around, would that of kept you? You said I was perfect, it was nothing I did...But then why do this? Why do this to me, and yourself, I knew you were happy with me...Why shut me out, keep me in the obscuring darkness.
I feel stranded on my only island. Although I have family and friends by me, friends that all have my backs, I still feel alone.
You know I could get another guy in a matter of days....You knew that when we were together...But I was deathly loyal to you...I still am. I'm getting all this attention, yet I can't act upon it...I only want you....And if I see you with another girl...I will be crushed...
I hate that your blowing me off, I go from feeling sad to pissed off.
You fucked up you know that? You really did...All of those things you told me...They feel like lies...I feel like I've been betrayed...
I want to tell you this so bad...I really hope you get out of this rut your in, relieve yourself from the MALE PMS, because I'm sitting at my cross roads now...
And all I can think about is you...Every second of the day it's you.
Please...Just come back to me....
Give me a reason to be happy again :'(
Re: I never once showed my anger...My disatisfaction, my fear....Until now. Alphabet Girl: Some of this hits way too close to home for me right now. :-\ I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope time makes things better for you.
Re: I never once showed my anger...My disatisfaction, my fear....Until now. HarlemAngel001: Yeah I know...I HATE feeling this way.
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/daughtry/itsnotover.html
This song describes EXACTLY what I feel right now...It scares me how close it hits to home.
