Re: someone please define JadedButtafly: he said he wants joint Custody, and i told him i dont see how you plan to pull that one off you've got another 8 yrs active duty navy.... if he had gotten out I dont think we'd be having this conversation at all... but I couldn't make him get out, and he did what he thought he had to do without talking to me about it first. okay I'm bitter. but tried of all of this and wanting my life to move forward.... and I want him to leave me the hell alone!
Re: someone please define darkrose: You have to remember that visitation isn't a requirement. If you have residential custody (and I suggest you DO go for this for a lot of reasons, namely he's active duty navy), basically he's unable to take the children. He can decline his right to visitation at any time, but if he does that, you don't have to let him make it up. If he doesn't use it, he loses that time with the children.
Make sense?
Re: someone please define pluscachange: There's different levels of custody. Joint legal custody would be fine (both empowered to make legal decisions for the child/children). Joint physical custody would be hard to pull off on the U.S.S. Nimitz I think. It's so cramped and the schools really aren't that good on C deck.
someone please define JadedButtafly: joint custody when the one person is still active duty navy... and is always out to sea,. wtf is he gona do when he's on detachment!? God I just want to get this over with he's killing me... :'(
Re: someone please define darkrose: [quote author=SExyDottCom link=topic=42568.msg486014#msg486014 date=1174503705">
he said he wants joint Custody, and i told him i dont see how you plan to pull that one off you've got another 8 yrs active duty navy.... if he had gotten out I dont think we'd be having this conversation at all... but I couldn't make him get out, and he did what he thought he had to do without talking to me about it first. okay I'm bitter. but tried of all of this and wanting my life to move forward.... and I want him to leave me the hell alone!
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I understand, sweets.. My stbxw is the same way with the kid. Unfortunately, she's trying to do what everybody is TELLING her to do, not what she really wants. Everybody sees it except her.. She wants true split custody (week on/week off) and that will NOT work for my special needs son. He needs stability and quite frankly with the things I've heard that she's doing, she's FAR from stable.
Anyway..
Yeah, I'd check with your lawyer about this, you could probably do the joint thing, BUT stipulate in the divorce paperwork that any time he goes on deployment, YOU keep the kids.. not his parents or his girlfriend or whoever. YOU. Although I'm pretty sure that's how it works anyway.. it's just a CYA thing. :)
