Re: A Nation of Children ionysis: My mother told me "Sorry means you won't do it again."
Remorse is the key ingrediant I think. Or repentance as they it say in church.
I find this more and more in the office. No one will take OWNERSHIP of a project and assume reponsibility for seeing it through. I find myself hearing again and again "I didn't do that part of the presentation so any mistakes in it are not my fault". YOU were responsible for it and supposed to be checking it - it is therefore YOUR fault if its wrong. The buck has to stop somewhere. Step up to the plate!
Sometimes there can be *reasons* for your f-up but never EXCUSES!
I think it works in relationships too. So seldom are people able to really commit to anything. My ex loved me, we had a great relationship, fantastic sex life, he says he trusts me more than anyone in his life and I am his best friend. The reason he really called off the wedding? Total inability to actually step up and make a commitment for life. Horror of assuming responsibility. Pathetic. (No, I'm clearly not still bitter...)
Re: A Nation of Children Whirlpool: The problem is we live in a society where you can break into a house, slip on a piece of paper on the tile floor, then sue the owner of the house for your injuries. We have a victim mentality problem in America right now, and when you have a victim mentality you do not take responsibility for your own actions.
Re: A Nation of Children pluscachange: [quote author=Snkpack link=topic=43037.msg493402#msg493402 date=1175709391">
I always thought the #1 thing that defined an adult was accountability. Well if that is the case, I'm living in a nation of children.
Since when did it become so hard to say "I'm sorry I f*cked up"? Why does everyone constantly find the need to offer up excuses for their behavior? Since when did it become so hard to own your actions?
I'm so tired of hearing excuses. Take responsibility. Man up.
[/quote">
Right on.
Responsibility is a dual thing though. We should and must be held accountable for our own actions. That means if we do wrong, we take the fall. If we do right, on the other hand, we should not be punished.
So while we should be allowed to fail in the market without being "assisted" or excused for incompetence, for example, we should also not be taxed to death if we suceed.
If we use a tool in a poor fashion and it hurts people we should be held accountable to the fullest extent, on the other hand if we use a tool without hurting anybody then we should not be pre-emptively nailed for owning the tool.
And so on.
The current no-fault trend is a horrible mishmash of authoritarian liberalism and authoritarian conservativism mixed together over the last 90-ish years. If we're not responsible for our actions, then lawyerss and government wills tep in and be for us. That's the idea I think.
Re: A Nation of Children flipflopnomore: I just went over this with my 15 year old daughter....
She can't understand why there are certain consequences for her actions...she's on restriction for having a little "get together" at her dad's when we were both out of town.
Last night we were talking and she is clearly fed up with her limited social life at the moment. She made a comment "I said I was sorry" like the word "sorry" was going to get her off the hook.
I asked her if she was sorry she had the party or if she was sorry she got caught? We then went into the entire trust speech.
I agree, the word sorry is thrown out there way too much.
Re: A Nation of Children kitkat: I can't agree more. The lack of people willing to take accountability for their actions/choices drives me BONKERS!
The hollow "I'm sorry" is almost worse. It means "I know YOU think I did wrong and I'll say something to make the consequences go away."
I honestly believe that only those people who accept full resposibility for their misdeeds can feel the full pride in their accomplishments. These people OWN their actions and choices (for good or ill).
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