Why should he benefit from my hard work? alonewith2: When my stbxh and I separated in 2002, I was left with no money in the bank and 3 months of unpaid bills. I only worked part time, min wage, and brought home around $5k a year. I had a 4 year old son to care for and one on the way. I was left with the house payment, property taxes, car payment, car insurance, medical and dental bills, utilities, etc.
I struggled and many times I had to rob Peter to pay Paul. I even moved in with my mom for 4 months to help save money and pay off bills. I had to get a second job, work long hours, go days without seeing my kids.. I refused to accept welfare and only borrowed money from my mom when things got extremely bad (ie like my house going into foreclosure at the same time my car was going to be repossessed)...
It took me 2 years to get caught up with everything. About that time, my stbxh and I decided to reconcile. He moved back in and a year and a half later, I found myself in the same exact situation: single mom of two kids, no money in the bank, only 1 month of bills, a house payment, property taxes, car payment, car insurance, medical and dental bills, utilities, etc.
Once again, I struggled through. I shut off the satellite for 6 months. Got rid of any nonessential utilities, robbed Peter to pay Paul. Took the kids out of day care and shipped the kids to various family members for babysitting, etc. It only took me a year to catch up everything this time, but I was making about $10k a year at that time.
It irritates me how badly my credit looks right now. Most lenders, banks, etc only see a series of missed or late payments and nothing else. They don't see what little I had to work with. They don't see that I should have lost everything, but managed to somehow scrape by and keep everything. They don't see the perseverence I had in accomplishing what I did.
I make $27K a year now, and really need a new car, but can't get a loan because of my credit. I was able to set up automatic payments for all my bills except my mortgage payment, and I've been doing awesome with those. However, utilities don't show up on my credit report as having been paid on time. They only show up when I don't pay and it's been put up for collections.
I just found a way to have my mortgage automatically paid every month. This will help me VERY MUCH with my credit rating. I even switched to bi weekly payments to help pay off the mortgage sooner. All this is an extra effort to work on my credit so that I can get a car loan in the near future.
However, I'm feeling a little po'd about something. The house is still in my name and the stbxh's name. I can't refinance it into my name only until June. So from now until then, I will be helping my stbxh's credit rating by making all the payments on time. That really irks me that I have to help him while helping myself. He did NOTHING to help me get to where I am today. I hate knowing that my efforts are now going to reward him. >:(
It seems so unfair that I have to pay the price for the ruined credit when I think I did an awesome job of getting everything back on track. And now he'll benefit from all that hardwork when he didn't contribute!!! ARGH!
Re: Why should he benefit from my hard work? Lumpy: Don't worry Sniblets. He'll fark it up again in no time methinks.
Re: Why should he benefit from my hard work? Percy123: I read your post and instead of agreeing with you that he benefits from what you are doing, I am taking back and impressed with your perserveance.
You shouldn't be dwelling on that jerk, but smiling with pride on what you accomplished when faced with such problems.
Truly impressive.
Re: Why should he benefit from my hard work? Lumpy: [quote author=Percy123 link=topic=43044.msg493683#msg493683 date=1175732444">
I read your post and instead of agreeing with you that he benefits from what you are doing, I am taking back and impressed with your perserveance.
You shouldn't be dwelling on that jerk, but smiling with pride on what you accomplished when faced with such problems.
Truly impressive.
[/quote">
Seconded.
Re: Why should he benefit from my hard work? alonewith2: [quote author=Lumpy link=topic=43044.msg493682#msg493682 date=1175732424">
Don't worry Sniblets. He'll fark it up again in no time methinks.
[/quote">
More than likely... :D
[quote author=Percy123 link=topic=43044.msg493683#msg493683 date=1175732444">
I read your post and instead of agreeing with you that he benefits from what you are doing, I am taking back and impressed with your perserveance.
You shouldn't be dwelling on that jerk, but smiling with pride on what you accomplished when faced with such problems.
Truly impressive.
[/quote">
I won't say it was easy. There are many times when I just wanted to give it all up and move back in with mommy. But I didn't. I am proud of myself. Just a little upset that the darn banks/lenders can't see that. :-[
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