The Language of Letting Go Phyxius: The Language of Letting Go, by Melody Beattie
Difficult People.
Few things can make us feel crazier than expecting something from someone who has nothing to give. Few things can frustrate us more than trying to make a person someone she isn't; we feel crazy when we try to pretend that person is someone she is not. We may have spent years negotiating with reality concerning particular people from our past and our present. We may have spent years trying to get someone to love us in a certain way, when that person cannot or will not.
It is time to let it go. It is time to let her go. That doesn't mean we can't love that person anymore. It means that we will feel the immense relief that comes when we stop denying reality and begin accepting. We release that person to be who she is. We stop trying to make that person be someone she is not. We deal with our feelings and walk away from the destructive system.
We learn to love and care differently in a way that takes reality into account.
We enter into a relationship with that person on new terms - taking ourselves and our needs into account. If a person is addicted to alcohol, other drugs, misery, or other people, we let go of her addiction; we take our hands off it. We give her life back. And we, in the process, are given our life and freedom in return.
We stop letting what we are not getting from that person control us. We take responsibility for our life. We go ahead with the process of loving and taking care of ourselves.
We decided how we want to interact with that person, taking reality and our own best interests into account. We get angry, we feel hurt, but we land in a place of forgiveness. We set her free, and we become set free from bondage.
This the heart of detaching with love.
Today, I will work at detaching in love from troublesome people in my life. I will strive to accept reality in my relationships. I will give myself permission to take care of myself in my relationships, with emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual freedom for both people as my goal.
Re: The Language of Letting Go flipflopnomore: That was great...and perfect timing for me. Was feeling a little down.
Thank you.
Re: The Language of Letting Go Percy123: I've read that before. I think my sister had that book in her house and I read it from time to time.
It is good stuff. It is just how hard to make it happen in your mind. I found reading it repeatedly was helpful. A sort of reinforcement and practiced thinking.
Re: The Language of Letting Go JNA: [quote author=Phyxius link=topic=43050.msg493777#msg493777 date=1175764392">
The Language of Letting Go, by Melody Beattie
Difficult People.
Few things can make us feel crazier than expecting something from someone who has nothing to give. Few things can frustrate us more than trying to make a person someone she isn't; we feel crazy when we try to pretend that person is someone she is not. We may have spent years negotiating with reality concerning particular people from our past and our present. We may have spent years trying to get someone to love us in a certain way, when that person cannot or will not.
It is time to let it go. It is time to let her go. That doesn't mean we can't love that person anymore. It means that we will feel the immense relief that comes when we stop denying reality and begin accepting. We release that person to be who she is. We stop trying to make that person be someone she is not. We deal with our feelings and walk away from the destructive system.
We learn to love and care differently in a way that takes reality into account.
We enter into a relationship with that person on new terms - taking ourselves and our needs into account. If a person is addicted to alcohol, other drugs, misery, or other people, we let go of her addiction; we take our hands off it. We give her life back. And we, in the process, are given our life and freedom in return.
We stop letting what we are not getting from that person control us. We take responsibility for our life. We go ahead with the process of loving and taking care of ourselves.
We decided how we want to interact with that person, taking reality and our own best interests into account. We get angry, we feel hurt, but we land in a place of forgiveness. We set her free, and we become set free from bondage.
This the heart of detaching with love.
Today, I will work at detaching in love from troublesome people in my life. I will strive to accept reality in my relationships. I will give myself permission to take care of myself in my relationships, with emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual freedom for both people as my goal.
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Nice Post Dude...
JNA
Re: The Language of Letting Go Magalucia: I have this book. It was perscribed by one of my first shrinks many many years ago. I never was able to read it. Maybe I will try again. I have a visceral reaction to the whole concept of letting go. I guess it is a little like the concept of forgiveness for me. For a long time I couldn't even say the word. To me it was just the "f" word. I understand it intellectually, but emotionally I want to run and pull the covers over my head.
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