Re: Games or second-thoughts? trapped: [quote author=kelbelleplus1 link=topic=43068.msg494129#msg494129 date=1175798428">
I have moments of clarity while I lay in bed awake at night... and I realized that
when we lived in London, he wanted to live in Florida
when we moved to Florida, he wanted to live in London
when he got the job he really wanted, he hated it
when he left the job he hated, he realized it was a mistake and wished he still had it
These were only minor things, but eventually I was not good enough. What I am thankful for is that his unhappiness made me realize that I am a contented person. I was willing to work with what I had in him, and I think even that showed optimism on my part.
[/quote">
I know this man well. Youre up for quite a challenge...or shoud l I say youve already been dealing with quite a challenge.
All my best to you.
Games or second-thoughts? kelbelleplus1: I know I should be posing this question to my ex - but I just can't right now. I still feel to hurt and immersed in the aftermath of his leaving me at 5 months pregnant after 7 years of marriage.
We have a 3 year old daughter and since my moving out (at his request) we have worked very hard at trying to create a sense of normalcy for her. In fact I think it is she that had kept us going these past few years.
Anyway... we split about a month ago. The first week was me in terrible shock and wishing for "my life" back. I then quickly moved to a new stage, of feeling like maybe this was for the best. The split revealed many betrayals on his part and that helped me find clarity in who he really is/was.
He trys to see our daughter twice a week. The last 3 times he has asked me to come with them when he takes her out. The first time seemed like pity and then the last few times were very nice, and almost as if he was trying to recapture something. He has suggested we take her out of town this week to a theme park.
On one occassion we spoke about what our families thought of the whole split. My family tends to believe that when I give birth, if not sooner, he will realize what a huge mistake he has made. When I discussed this with him, I confirmed that I would not be waiting around for that. He seemed taken aback. I am wondering if this is the whole 'want what we cannot have' issue at work.
I know that this is a unique situation just like everyone else's here - but I feel to caught up in this to know clearly what the intent here is.
My question is this: As he being the leaver, is this part of releaving guilt? Or does this sound like someone who is regretting their choices?
Re: Games or second-thoughts? Percy123: I dpn't think anyone knows what they are doing in situations like this. He is most likely confused.
Once you step out and the door makes that closing noise behind you, things get weird.
My dog does it everyday. I let it out, it wants in, I let it in it wants out. That animal does in the simple form what we do......You can learn a lot from a dog.
Re: Games or second-thoughts? Lumpy: [quote author=Percy123 link=topic=43068.msg494114#msg494114 date=1175797431">
You can learn a lot from a dog.
[/quote">
How to lick yourself? ;)
Re: Games or second-thoughts? kelbelleplus1: [quote author=Percy123 link=topic=43068.msg494114#msg494114 date=1175797431">
I dpn't think anyone knows what they are doing in situations like this. He is most likely confused.
[/quote">
Thanks Percy - I think you are very right. I realized over the last weeks that it could never work because he is a perpetually unhappy man. Not in a depressed way but in that nothing is ever enough and he constantly is in pursuit of the grass on the other side of the fence.
I guess I just want to know what his intentions are - because I feel like I will never get an honest answer from him.
Thanks for indulging me!
Click More for the next page.
