cheating and inadequacy/betrayal gns: How do those of you (us) that have been cheated on deal with the feelings of inadequacy. After all the the ex chose someone else - how is that not personal?
Re: cheating and inadequacy/betrayal Freckles: [quote author=gns link=topic=43098.msg494429#msg494429 date=1175817094">
How do those of you (us) that have been cheated on deal with the feelings of inadequacy. After all the the ex chose someone else - how is that not personal?
[/quote">
I did not feel inadequate
I felt betrayed
Re: cheating and inadequacy/betrayal stf: i feel betrayed too...especially since he swore up and down that he would never cheat on me...he also told me he never cheated on his any of his ex girlfriends - i recently found out this is a lie...so i don't feel inadequate - i know he is sick...
Re: cheating and inadequacy/betrayal kelbelleplus1: It certainly is difficult in the beginning. There is a very specific feeling that cheating causes and it seems the same each time (I had two ex's who cheated with different levels of severity).
The first time around I was young, and thought the OW was unattractive and wondered why he would cheat on me with her. How naive. This time around I knew that the OW provided a false ideal to my ex. She is almost not real for all intents and purposes, during the cheating phase.
I have been able to shake those feelings inadequacy because I know that I am a complete human being, and what I am being compared to is an ideal, an image almost. If and when the cheater takes that relationship to the next level, there will be reality to face with that person to.
I do believe that cheating is escapism on its most destructive level. You in no way should feel inadequate. Ever. Period.
Re: cheating and inadequacy/betrayal XTINA: [quote author=gns link=topic=43098.msg494429#msg494429 date=1175817094">
How do those of you (us) that have been cheated on deal with the feelings of inadequacy. After all the the ex chose someone else - how is that not personal?
[/quote">
IT IS PERSONAL!!!!! I have trouble understanding how it couldn't be.
I'm very interested to see how other people here are dealing with those inadequate feelings b/c I don't think I am handling them all that well. It's been 7 months and there are times I still feel like a rejected piece of garbage even though deep down I know I'm not.
Good topic gns!
Click More for the next page.
