Fear blinder: Well, here's the situation. It has been a month now, being single... and I've been doing an incredible amount of soul searching, analyzing and questioning (and seeing a therapist as well)... and I've come to a place now where the concept of dating is something I need to consider. The reason is that I, beyond my own belief, actually have a date in the very near future.
I don't really know her, but just from the few exchanges we've had I am really interested in learning more about her. So, this is where the fear is. I was a late bloomer and when I finally started getting a clue about life, I met my ex. Before then I was just so messed up that I was never interested in anyone... so I never asked girls out, never went on dates. When I met my ex, we were each other's first love. So, 10 years later and that is over, and now here I am, on the verge of going on my first real date... and being with another girl. I have never been with anyone other than my ex. So, yeah, I'm nervous. I am a gentleman, and I know how to treat a lady, I learned from the very best teacher (my father). But that isn't doing a whole lot to elay some of my fears.
Some of my questions are like... is this too soon? Its been a month of being single... even though... admitidly the last several months of our relationship has been... well distant... to be honest. I didn't notice it at the time... but now, being completely honest that's the truth of the matter.
I guess I just don't have answers. I don't know what "too soon" means or if I'm just being foolish... or if I really deserve to enjoy the company of a woman I would like to learn more about. The date we have planned is very low-stress... in fact we are meeting at The National Aquarium (in Baltimore).
I do not have any expectations aside from just being able to put my own troubles aside for a few hours and listen to her tell me about herself. I think that's what I need now... and if that develops into something more, well I am not even thinking in those terms because I'm out of the "worrying about the future" business.
I dunno... did any of this make sense? Am I crazy? Am I setting myself up? I need to ask my therapist about this... but I value and respect the opinions here.
Re:Fear pauly: Blinder
I think your openess,values and honesty are to be applauded and will surely set the tone for this next and or new relationship.
I understand your fear but you can only be yourself.I gather all women are looking for good men,like yourself and this sets you apart.
Good luck and have a great time at the Park.
Re:Fear blinder: [quote author=pauly link=board=6;threadid=4510;start=0#msg35673 date=1096207000">
Blinder
I think your openess,values and honesty are to be applauded and will surely set the tone for this next and or new relationship.
I understand your fear but you can only be yourself.I gather all women are looking for good men,like yourself and this sets you apart.
Good luck and have a great time at the Park.
[/quote">
Pauly,
Hey thanks :) Your kind words are very much appreciated!
Yeah, its good advice... sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else besides yourself :)
Re:Fear blinder: [quote author=Frideon link=board=6;threadid=4510;start=0#msg35698 date=1096212727">
Blinder,
Just worry about today. When you go on your date, leave the extra baggage of future worries at home. Just have fun and be yourself on the date. If you can't be yourself now or if you put to much importance on this one moment, the time for those future worries may never come to pass.
You sound like a good guy. Things will go great.
Have Fun!
Frid
[/quote">
Frideone,
Hey thanks! Yeah, like I said "I'm out of the worrying about the future" business... just sometimes I let my silly mind get away from me.
Yeah, leave the baggage at home!
Thanks man! :D
Re:Fear in_search_of: That is about it, leave the samsonite at home, just hang out, be yourself, and see what happens! *I can understand the over thinking part, that is my favorite pass time!*
Just go out, have a good time...if it doesn't work this time, it will again later! Remember, right now, you are not dating to meet someone to marry, you are dating to find the kind of person that you would want to marry! Its all trial and error!
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