still trying- am I a chump? sadinct: As I've posted over the week, My world hs been crashing around me for almost three weeks (on Tuesday).. still gathering info, but trying very hard to be on my best behavior. I've worked around the house on many of the projects she's complained about.. Been especially attentive making late dinners for us (as usual) and trying to do everything I can think of to keep her somewhat happy. (trying not to smother, too). It's not really working that well.. still synde remarks, she cries a lot durring movies that aren't that sad, or when she's drinking wine..
Am I a chump for trying so hard? I really want things to work out but I fear the worst. I feel that I'm really giving it my all and she has made no effort, zero, on our behalf.. and worse yet, I feel so alone.
another bummer of an evening... :( sorry to complain.
Re:still trying- am I a chump? seth: Sometimes it's really hard to cut your losses. I tried like a fool to make things work w/ my ex and invested a lot of money and emotion in her....
I remember waiting for her to come home and having dinner on the table that I'd meticulously planned. Feel like such a fool now.... On the up side, I think she's w/ a woman now so the pain's not as bad.....
Re:still trying- am I a chump? sadinct: Exactly, Seth- I wait by the window like an ass,meet her at the car and have dinner/wine ready... and I get suggestions on how I can improve my cooking!! I'd love to grab the plate and throw it right out the window!! (Maybe do a Jack Nicholson immitation..). but i smile and say ok.
Oh well- just want to make sure I do everything in my power, either way things go.
Thanks-
Doug
Re:still trying- am I a chump? althebrokenman: Hello Sadinct
My opinion is that you stop trying to be a prince. You can read my post (2 or 3 pg back) and see that I have been through this and it blew up in my face and the end devastated me 10 times more than the initial break. If you do and try everything just for her, you will not only have her see you as a little puppy aiming to please but it will incredibly harm your self-esteem and confidence. Simply be your true self and if that is not good enough for her then too bad for her. Do not put yourself second for someone else, it will never work and it will hurt you. I know because I did it.
Re:still trying- am I a chump? sadinct: Hi Al-
My self esteem and confidence went out the window the day she said "My image of you as a man is shattered". So, I run arround like a dope trying to improve that image and correct whatever action caused it to be damaged. (for the life of me, I don't know what it was). Even now, she finds fault with everything I do, no matter how hard I try. No gratitude or encouragement, only contempt and resentment.
Oh- her cheating didn't help her image with me much... but I haven't broached tat subject yet.
Thanks for the advice, it helps to know I'm not the first to be in this situation.
Doug
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