Re:New stage, new pain Samanthain: I know it doesn't make it much easier but it sounds like you are better off without this guy. Just don't let his treating you badly affect how you feel about yourself. You can't change how he's feeling or reacting so you just have to work on keeping your own chin up.
I can't understand how they can be so cruel to someone they loved. I just always imagined my ex and I would remain friendly so that I could at least call him if I needed help but he's being really mean towards me now and his family has totally written me off as well.
It hurts a lot! At least his family is being decent even if he won't. This whole thing is just incredibly painful but eventully there will start to be more good days than bad. Hang in there!
Re:New stage, new pain picadilly: Sam is so dead on there.
That is what all of us are striving for. More good days then bad. Even with the good days out numbering the bad, all we need is one bad day to make the rest of it seem so useless. I know how that works. You can't let this jerk run your life, you know how much better you are without him. It may take a bit before your heart catches up with your brain.
Be well.
Re:New stage, new pain tazme: Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I am feeling better today - it's amazing what sleep will do for you. I know that I am so much better off w/out him.
I have had so many good days lately & I have been waiting for the other shoe to drop. Just a temporary set back - nothing I can't handle.
Thanks again! :)
Re:New stage, new pain Helena Handbasket: I like what Picadilly wrote, especially the part about the heart needing time to catch up to the brain. That is the sticking point, the thing that takes time, and you can't rush it. And like you said, you had a setback, but then it gets better again.
I moved out of my house one year ago today. That was so scary, to change everything like that, but it was the right thing to do. I know that, but it still hurts to think all of those years I spent trying so hard, and this is the result. But now, I have hope now that I am figuring my life out, and myself out. I hurt a little less. I am a much happier person these days, and a better mom, and that makes it worth it. I shudder to think of what I might be doing now if I had stayed, but it's weird that those thoughts don't help at the time. It still hurt very badly.
I always say "hang in there", but I mean it sincerely. You have to hang in there so that you can ride out the bad days and be ready to enjoy the good. So here I go saying it again, but with gusto: hang in there!
-HH
Re:New stage, new pain trumpy: are you absoloutley sure about the poster with the kitten hanging from the tree... i've heard nothing but good things.
you've got people to help you when you need them, don't hesitate to reach out when you need to.
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