Re:Why do I still care? Kntno: Alone in NC,
I think it's natural to have your feelings. I have the same. But you have to remember it takes two in any relationship. You weren't holding her back, anymore than she wasn't holding you back.
As you said she seems to be "free"experiencing new things. But you know what - your free to. You can experience new things. Your preception is you were holding her back but the reality is probably alot different.
It's tough to watch our ex's go on. It's tough to think that they can live without us and be happy. I have those feelings. But, I can live and be happy too without her (it doesn't feel that way somedays).
It is extremely tough but don't put yourself down. ok? That won't help you in the long wrong.
Re:Why do I still care? SugarSweet: Steph and Alone,
I too know exactly what you are feeling. I too would constanly worry about his welfare. Not only for his sake, but also my childs.
I also know it does get easier. Try and think about it this way:
How long were you together? How long did it take you to get to the point in your reationship, where you felt you needed to take care of them? My guess, and the way it was for me, is that the habits slowly evolved. You both found your strengths and weaknesses in the relationship, and took on the respective roles. It was a learned behavior, then you also throw love into the mix... and what a mess!
To undo all that will take time, just like it took time to get into the habit in the first place. You need to unlearn the urge to want to help/save/take care of them.
I know for me, I was use to knowing on a daily basis what or how my ex was doing. It took a long time for me to get use to not knowing. To learning that no longer could I be responsible for my ex's good or bad decisions.
Just because your not responsible for their life, does not mean that you don't care about them. That is admirable, and shows that you are a caring person.
Take Care, hope that helps
Kimba
