bipolar wife wants a divorce jojo319: This is my first post. This is all still pretty fresh. I am 34 and have been married for 1 1/2 years to a 27 year old with Bipolar. In her family that means your crazy, so she will not seek treatment for it. We have had what I feel are normal marriage problems, but nothing crazy. She is different from me in that she likes to go out quite often. Every now and then, she gets in her "wild" phase of drinking, partying, etc.....I pretty much give her a lot of freedom to do so. She's threatened to leave before, but has never really done it. She usually changes her mind after about a day. To make an example, 4 days ago she said we'd be together forever. 2 days ago she said that she wants a divorce. Aside from the complete heartbreak, she had minor surgery this morning, and will be bedridden for a week. I don't know if I should take care of her or not? I still love her very much, and I hate the fact that this was so impulsive, but she has shown no compassion to me whatsoever. It's just hard for me to start to move on because I don't know if it's one of her "moods" or not. I'm scared, depressed, and I don't know what to do. Does anybody have any experience with this?
Re:bipolar wife wants a divorce Shanna: I am of not help at all...but I just wanted to welcome you to Ojar and hopefully someone will be along with some knowledge soon.
Re:bipolar wife wants a divorce seth: Since she is a very sick person and has just undergone surgery, go ahead and be the bigger man and take care of her while she recuperates. Give a little, 'till it hurts....
My ex has an "Adjustment Disorder with anxiety and depression," which quack-speak for DSM-IV category for third-party therapy reimbursement from her insurance..... My friends suspect she might have bipolar (one of these friends has struggled w/ bipolar) and they scoff at her claims that she took a test and found out that she wasn't.
I think she's naive to swalllow new age psychology whole and I hate, I mean, hate psychologists and pschiatrists and all of their ilk b/c I think they take advantage of people, keeping them in therapy for years to get income and keeping the "patient" focussed on their past and their problems instead of getting them to just accept what has happened.
I'll give you an example. My ex and I both grew up w/ alcoholic parents. Now, I've forgiven my father and can even have a beer with (provided my mother is not watching), while my ex hasn't spoken to her mother in 10 years.... Okay, her problems were a lot worse than mine but all that therapist does is just keep her focussed on the negative w/ no "exit strategy" in sight. It's like the Vietnam of therapy, it just keeps going and going and going....
But bipolar is no joke. My friend has tried to kill himself numerous times and is lucky to have the support of a wonderfully understanding wife.... I think people are too dependent on quacks but in the case of real "mental illness (not just depression and refusing to grow up), you have to get treatment.
I feel for you because I lived w/ a crazy woman for nearly seven years who tried--and convinced me for a while--that I was crazy and depressed. My friends tell me that she mentally abused me and it's a hard thing to admit that I was abused by the woman I loved.... It's ironic that she has accused me of physical abuse to keep me from suing her for the money she owes me....
Living w/ someone like your wife could be more trouble than it's worth, sorry to say. My father told me that my ex "did me a favor." I'm starting to believe that. I know it's really hard.
Re:bipolar wife wants a divorce seth: By the way, treating bipolar depression w/ medication doesn't always work. You have to keep trying different meds much of the time....
If you stay w/ her, you're going to have to put up w/ a lot cyclical B.S. My ex "left" me every spring for seven years, breaking my heart each time. Now, I can mark the next spring by cleaning my house and enjoying the weather instead of experiencing heartbreak yet again....
How do you know she's bipolar, aside from the impulsivity?
Re:bipolar wife wants a divorce MadorSad: jojo
Stay with her man. This is not the time to be selfish stay and help the BP can be helped you can help right now by being there just for her. After the hosbital take steps to tell her she is not crasy she just needs some help. Trust me when I say it will help you in the long run. If I would have just done the little things in the past I would not be here now but I am so I hope this helps you ;D
Hold Fast
Hope & Faith
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