Hard to move on althebrokenman: Hey Folks
Does anyone have ideas as to how to stop the 24 hour constant thoughts of your ex and the ex-relationship. I am doing everything possible to move on from this, exercise, friends, family, eating well, sleeping, working, reading etc... Nonetheless my mind is constantly on the ex and the relationship. It has been 2 months since I last saw her and the pain and thoughts do not seem to want to let up.
Any ideas??
Re:Hard to move on brokenman: It sounds like you are on the right track. Just keep busy. Those nagging thoughts and upsetting feelings are a part of the process. You will have them. Don't be disheartened they will subside sooner than you think.
If you can stand to write at all, I'd suggest keeping a journal... or post here often. Write down what you are feeling and why you think you are feeling that way. By focusing on getting it on paper you will work through these issues. And I bet many times you will find that the cause of your feelings is not what you think it is. A number of times I started to write how lonely or angry I was only to end up realizing that I was jealous or sad.
I hope you recover quickly. Take care.
Re:Hard to move on Dazed: Al, I am in the exact same phase as you are right now. Although I have actually seen my ex recently (just twice in two months), I don't think that has as much to do with is as just the normal process. Whether I see him or not, my memories are still VERY strong and the painful moment he said he was leaving too near. As I sit here right now, I can say that although I've been trying to put my head into my work for the past 3 hours, I've really been on auto-pilot, thinking about him and us the entire time. I'm not sure when this cycle of torture will ease up, but I am doing everything in my power to be patient with myself and my mind. Instead of trying to distract myself, I try to sit with my feelings and try to understand them. Sometimes, as brokenman pointed out, I can identify the source of my emotions, but other times, they are just part of the irrational ups and downs that come with loss.
I really don't know what to say since I am as frustrated with my seeming obsession with my ex, but I can say that I'm starting (VERY slowly) to understand that although I desperately miss my ex, as I knew him, I miss the dreams even more.
I'm very sorry for your loss and hope that you will find some comfort in knowing that you are not alone and that despite how it feels, what you are going through is "normal". I know, I know, I hate that word too. I would love to be superhuman right now. Instead, I must just try to be satisfied with being normal.
Best,
Emily
