My story, for what its worth. marfanoidus: Its been 7 months now of separation.
I was married to one of those women who believe that all men are bad, can't be trusted, are lazy good-for-nothings, cheaters, liars, etc.. She already has a new live-in boyfriend and the other day I was there to pick up my son. She comes out of their bedroom all teary-eyed and mascara running. I jump up because I thought the boyfriend may have struck her (I mean, come on - no matter how much water is under the bridge, you don't let someone harm the mother of your child). Fortunately, nothing like that had happened. Instead, she comes over close to where I sitting waiting for my son to get his shoes on and asks "Walt, when we were together, did I ever accuse you of things for no reason?"
I looked at her with a slight grin of vindication pulsing through my veins and said "All the time, P. All the time."
That was the beginning of my stbx not thinking I was all the bad she had pictured me out to be.
I feel so good - not having to be run down constantly, thinking I was the one at fault, not knowing why, believing I was a horrible man, incompetent, spineless jellyfish, impotent puss - those are her words by the way. My opinions didn't count because I was a man.
Coming out of that was like a baptism, death to the old and birth to the new. But its not a new me - its the old me, who I was before her - rediscovering myself, I am in heaven. This opportunity has been breathtaking.
Our marriage was bad, and had been for a long time. It being over is the right thing for all involved. I now have more time to spend one-on-one with my son. I'm not depressed anymore, in fact I have a renewed vigor for life and living.
I can see clearly now - I am a good man, one who believes in honor, character, morality, right and wrong. And I will never, ever, ever under any circumstances allow another person to berate me to the point where I begin to doubt myself again.
Breathing the free air - mmmmmmm - I remember it now.
good luck to you all,
walt
Re:My story, for what its worth. Helena Handbasket: I'm glad you found some peace with yourself. That's great! I wish that for all of us...
In my moments of extreme frustration and doubt, of which there are many, I find myself thinking, "I just need some f*cking peace!" However, it seems as though yelling that to yourself in your head just doesn't quite make it happen. :)
-HH
Re:My story, for what its worth. sadinct: Walt-
It is wonderful that you have BOTH come to the same realization. That's just terrific (speaking as a spinless jellyfish..) Stories like yours give me hope, and for her to see that she was wrong in her treatment of you for all this time...
Enjoy the time with your son, and with the new found you.
Good for you-
Doug
