Re:Chemistry...sexual or intellectual? in_search_of: I think that compatibility might be as up to chance as chemistry, personally. Either I am compatible with someone or not, I can't force our personalities, wants, hopes etc to be the same, therefore, if I attempt to be compatible with someone I am taking on their characteristics, or if they attempt to be compatible with me then they are giving up part of themselves, and that is not fair to anyone.
So compatibility, in my humble opinion, is just as much up to chance as chemistry. Either it is there, or it is not.
Re:Chemistry...sexual or intellectual? JimB: OK, so as you may have guessed, I have an opinion on this.
First, a definition. I consider compatibility to be the ability to (at least) tolerate and (hopefully) gravitate towards another person. It's a social skill: some people have developed the skill to the point where they're compatible with just about everybody, while others have neglected it badly. Some components of compatibility include: the ability to compromise, communications skills, the ability to see the big picture. Some people are lucky enough to come by this skill easily, but most of us have to work at it.
I hadn't really thought about compatibility as an issue until I read an article in my new fave magazine, Psychology Today. Wish I could forward a link, but they don't put their current content online. (It's a fascinating issue, for anyone who wants to pick it up: the overall topic is love.) Anyway, I came away from that article feeling that compatibility really is something that is somewhat controllable.
I mean, think about it. Most romantic relationships begin with a certain degree of compatibility. It can take a lot of different forms: interests and life goals can be either shared or complementary. I've seen it work both ways. But people change no matter what. I would say I was far less compatible with my ex when we split up than when we married. Why? Because instead of focusing on the interests and goals that enhanced our compatibility, we focused on those that caused it to decline. We chose the direction of our individual change, and it led us away from each other, when it just as easily could have led us closer. And I see it over and over again.
Anyway, I didn't want to hijack this thread by getting up on a soapbox and filibustering. Thoughts?
Re:Chemistry...sexual or intellectual? in_search_of: Ok, I might have to run out and get that Psy today, its a great magazine, particularly enjoy it....
Re:Chemistry...sexual or intellectual? skavachi: Personally, I think that chemistry and compatability enhance eachother. Maybe, it may just be one in the same. Like Jim said, if you work on the things that make you compatible, I think that the chemistry will increase. hmmm....deep thoughts... lol
Good point Jim! Food for thought.
