Has anyone had to live with EX during divorce? jojo319: I'm in this situation. She wants the divorce, but we are to financially intertwined at this very moment. She is (naturally) fine with this arangement because bills still get paid, etc.....Either way, I'm going to have to continue to live there and witness her comings and goings until this all gets sorted out. I'm already heartbroken, and she is pretty care free. I really don't know how to handle this situation. I still love her very much.
Re:Has anyone had to live with EX during divorce? lookin4alite: hi jojo,
I don't know if you are new or not, but OJAR is a great support site none can beat it. As for your arrangement I certainly feel for you. I had three kids so for me it was difficult to let go. She came and went as she pleased and I probably did that for 6-9 months and it was h3ll, I couldn't live well knowing what was going on. Best I can say is do all possible to survive and get unavailable yourself. If you are not available she may wonder why and become more available to you.
just my 0.02 cent
lite
Re:Has anyone had to live with EX during divorce? Beautifully Numb: Hi...
I think if you are going to live together during your divorce, you need ground rules that you both agree to so that no one gets hurt. It is not ok for her to flaunt her comings and goings and for you to hurt. If the agreement is that you both date, then maybe it would be better to have the agreement that pick ups and drop offs occur in neutral territory. This way the home is a safe zone, somewhere you both can view as a sanctuary.
Re:Has anyone had to live with EX during divorce? bloke: It's less than a week since my W told me she didn't love me any more and wants to be single, so maybe my views are still raw and bitter and will soften with time. My W is completely financially dependant on me, so like your situation she cannot just move out. I am finding it impossible to even look at her at the moment it hurts me so much. I still want her to love me, but accept that if she does not then there is little I can do about it. So I will continue with things as they are while we figure out what happens next.
BUT I will not pay for her to laugh at me. I have made my mind up that if she wants to start living the single life she will not do so under the same roof as me and with the money I bring home. I still want her to be my wife and I will not back out of my duty to maintain our family home, but at the first suggestion that she will start using the money I provide to live the single life I will insist that she gets a job, gets her own apartment, pays half of all the bills for our family home (we have two kids) etc.
If she wants to be part of our family then it is great, but if she wants to be independant then she can pay for it independantly! She wants a divorce? Let her truly realise what being divorced means - standing on her own two feet. Maybe in the light of that she'll realise she has something worth hanging on to already.
