i really dont know how i feel today qmambo: im indifferent today
one minute i feel ok and think i shouldnt be feelin gok, its like im stopping myself from feeling good to be away from it, good to let it go, as though its wrong to have those feelings or something, that i should be in misery cos thats where i live.
the next minute i keep thinking god the longer we have no contact the more we will not be able to, the more i will lose him, so if i just text him a little hope u r ok, then i will keep it going.
i dont know what to do.......
i would like to keep in touch with him as its been so long for us i dont want him out of my life completely.
Should i try and save something now, or would it be ok in a few months to send him a hi how doing, u ok email then? or is it too far gone
Re: i really dont know how i feel today Whirlpool: In most cases the more you contact the further away you push them. It does not feel natural for you I know, but it is true. Buckle up and be prepared for about a year long rollercoaster ride with extended periods of content that get longer as time passes. Even 2 years out I still have my days where I am dwelling on the failures of my marriage and not being able to keep my family together. They are fleeting moments now rather than day long affairs.
One of my favorite quotes dealing with non-stop thinking about the ex is "You can't stop a bird from landing on your head, but you can stop it from building a nest there".
You are too early in to expect to not think about it, the most important thing right now for you in my opinion is to just understand that what you are feeling is normal and everyone goes through it.
Back to the original topic, no contact is the way to go. I am sorry to say he is already lost for now, but texting, emailing, or calling with "are you ok" 's is only going to push him further away. Someone who wants contact with you is going to make it happen. It is not as though if you don't text him he will forget about you, or if you do text him he will suddenly be like "oh yea! I forgot I want to be with her, thank God she texted!" Think about it....
Re: i really dont know how i feel today qmambo: thx and i know what you are saying about the contact thing - i think he if he wants to speak to me then he will contact me so if he doesnt then he doesnt thats my brain thinking. but then i think well what is if he does want to contact me but feels the same as me, maybe he is thinking that i dont want him to and that if i wanted to speak to him i would just call him or text him - how does that side of it work?
Re: i really dont know how i feel today WhatWillItTake: [quote author=mqo link=topic=47517.msg568283#msg568283 date=1187177779">
but then i think well what is if he does want to contact me but feels the same as me, maybe he is thinking that i dont want him to and that if i wanted to speak to him i would just call him or text him - how does that side of it work?
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I posted a thread about that once. But having read most of your posts, and knowing what a narcissist your ex is, like mine, he is NOT holding back his desire to call you, thinking that you don't want to talk to him. you already made it clear that you are still interested in him and that his calls would be well-received. the only way to get someone like that to WANT to call is to not call him. they can't stand when we move on and stop calling. trust me. I got proof of it yesterday.
Re: i really dont know how i feel today qmambo: yeah i know you're right and i was just posting on another topic to someone when i typed out how he had fallen out of love with me about a year ago i think now and how he planned to end it, he couldnt do it to my face so he waited for the moment when we would both be back here over xmas and then he did it by phone it was all planned out and i feel sick that he didnt even have the guts to sit me down and say at the time, look im sorry i dont love you anymore, the coward waited and then screwed with my mind for last 8 months. i should feel well rid of him and if i could only hold those thoughts. I could never do that to him so i hope one day he struggles with his own conscience
