Santa Can't be a Woman PennyLane: "Santa Can't Be A Woman"
Some of you may have seen the one passed around about why Santa is a woman. Well, here is why Santa is not a woman. Santa cannot be a woman because:
No woman would be caught dead in the same outfit two years in row.
No woman would be willing to give something away in order to make another woman happy.
Women cannot drive cars let alone a sleigh powered by reindeer.
Santa has to supervise all of those elves year round and everyone knows that women may be bossy, but are not always good supervisors.
Santa carries a bag full of toys not a purse full of toiletries.
Santa manages to fit all of his items in his one bag. Women cannot pack one bag to save their lives.
Santa is fat and goes out of the house fat. Women don't want to go out of the house fat even if it is just once a year.
Santa delivers toys at night. Women usually develop a headache at night that prohibits them from doing anything.
The words "Ho, Ho, Ho" would have to become something different because women would subliminally feel someone was calling them names.
Santa Claus is not hyphenated. All modern women hyphenate their names.
Santa Claus wears no jewelry when he goes out. All women wear jewelry when they go out for the holidays.
The final reason Santa Clause is a man is because only a Real Man could leave his family on Christmas eve, stay out all night, and come back in, the next morning claiming to be out working all night.
