Looks at me with Pity marcy: I'm sure many of you are familiar with my previous posts. My ex-husband divorced me b/c he felt our life wasn't fun anymore, and began dating many young beautiful women and partying and vacationing all the time - he has alot of money, so money is no object.
Every time I go to drop off or pickup my daughter, I can feel him looking at me with a sense of pity, like "I'm doing so much better than you". And truthfully, he is. He has been with probably 15-20 women since me and is way over me, he is having lots of fun with friends, he goes on vacation often, and has told me many times that he is "very happy". I, on the other hand, have primary responsibility for our daughter, am back in school and always studying, and don't have anyone in my life.
He always gives me the feeling when he looks at me, like "HA HA - look how things turned out for you!" ANd I just hate that he got the upper hand. I really thought I would be doing alot better than him, but so far, it hasn't turned out that way, and he looks at me with pity. I can even see him thinking "Oh, I'm with women so much better than you now" - because he has actually said that to me.
How can I get over this feeling of failure in comparison to him?
Re: Looks at me with Pity snkpack: First of all he's ignorant if he truly believes that his life in any way is superior to yours. I suppose if we're being judged by frat boys, that's the only market he'd win.
Would you rather have what he has: short term happiness? Or would you rather buckle down now and achieve long term happiness? Only the most foolish of people think that material things truly create happiness. They certainly help, but true happiness comes from within.
I doubt he has that.
Re: Looks at me with Pity DarrenB: [quote author=marcy link=topic=47571.msg569134#msg569134 date=1187282711">
I'm sure many of you are familiar with my previous posts. My ex-husband divorced me b/c he felt our life wasn't fun anymore, and began dating many young beautiful women and partying and vacationing all the time - he has alot of money, so money is no object.
Every time I go to drop off or pickup my daughter, I can feel him looking at me with a sense of pity, like "I'm doing so much better than you". And truthfully, he is. He has been with probably 15-20 women since me and is way over me, he is having lots of fun with friends, he goes on vacation often, and has told me many times that he is "very happy". I, on the other hand, have primary responsibility for our daughter, am back in school and always studying, and don't have anyone in my life.
He always gives me the feeling when he looks at me, like "HA HA - look how things turned out for you!" ANd I just hate that he got the upper hand. I really thought I would be doing alot better than him, but so far, it hasn't turned out that way, and he looks at me with pity. I can even see him thinking "Oh, I'm with women so much better than you now" - because he has actually said that to me.
How can I get over this feeling of failure in comparison to him?
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marcy when are you going to get over this with him? The guy is an @ssh@le creep, and he is playing bs games with you. He is trying to make you feel worthless and pathetic, and you are playing right into his stupid game. HE is pathetic because he emotionally tortures you with this in order to make himself feel better. Whay are you allowing this to happen? You're worth much more than this. You should pity him for acting like such a child and playing 5th grade school games.
I'll say it again. Please go and see a counselor for these self esteem issues. Somehow he has brainwashed you into believing he is better then you. That is clearly not the case.
Re: Looks at me with Pity marcy: I know your right - he has really made me doubt myself. I used to be very confident, but with all he has said to me and shown me about how he can do so much better, my self esteem has really taken a hit.
But I don't think he's playing games. He really does believe he is doing much better and will do much better than me. He even said "If I get married again, it will be to someone much younger and more beautiful than you". He's literally gone from one women to the next the past year, and they have been beautiful (remember he showed me the picture). I guess I'm just stumped at how great things seem to have worked out for him. I thought he would have a much harder time.
Re: Looks at me with Pity damagedgoods: [quote"> I'll say it again. Please go and see a counselor for these self esteem issues. Somehow he has brainwashed you into believing he is better then you. That is clearly not the case.
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I know it is hard to see Marcy, but he has some major issues. Trust me, you should be relieved that he is not living in the same house as you are. He is a selfish ass, who will never have a healthy, happy relationship in his miserable life.
