To controlled confused.com: I serched for this webiste hoping to find some answers to questions i have been longing to ask. I have been with my boyfriend nearly 2 years, i was about 13 when i met him but i was just turning 15 when we started to date. By the time we were dating he was already 18.
Before i met him i was a teenager that drang,smoked but wasnt sexual active. I was dead set on not sleeping with anyone till i was married. I fell in love and the story goes on but things have changed in the last year. He has hit me repatedly, abusive mentally-constant comments about my weight and my appearance. I ended up kissing some else but i told him and we worked through it, thing havn't changed. im always in limbo... he will ignoremy calls for days and then call and tell me off and hang up if i asked why he ignored my calls. People are starting to get suspious about the bruises and im so wanting break away but i cant... i spend alot of my time with him and now im very distant from friends it has been this way for over a year. i shouldnt feel scared to talk to him when friends are around hell call and act clingy but once im home he dosnt want to no. sex is fine, he demand it too much and has become lazy with protection and its lead to scares..3 in fact but i got that sorted, he complains about me smoking but i cant get away, his mother is so interfearing i have no choice but to go outside and puff my troubles away. His ex is a constant reminder and i feel like i have to live up to her standards!... he calls me a slag because i have kissed a few guys and i had participated in foreplay but he stole 3 girls virginity, i cant belive that im this stressed!.. the only time he wants me is when a man talks to me or makes me laugh, i really like to think thing would work themselves out but they wont. I feel so negitive and low. i been through the hits and it feels like second nature. family comes first with him.. fair enough but when your family bad mouth or physically striked me ... oh nooo i prevoked it... i didnt... there all just as frustated with him as me. he takes his mums side even tho she tell him she hates him and wishes he leave her house!... thats not love.... shes evil but beacuse im white and shes black i suppose she feels as tho im notgood enough.... i want to go on and on and on but things are soo hard, i need help and advice please...x
Re: To controlled WhatWillItTake: for a situation that involved physical abuse (And mental), you need to get people involved who are there with you. All the advice in the world from a website is not going to help this. Talk to your friends, your parents, any authority figure you trust. I know you feel embarrassed, scared, ashamed, but you also know that you want to get out of this very unhealthy relationship. With the support of people who are physically and locally there for you, it will be much easier. and you'll be surprised at how supportive they actually will be, not the way you probably expect.
Find the strength in you. You DO have it.
Re: To controlled leigh: [quote author=WhatItTook link=topic=47585.msg569488#msg569488 date=1187297891">
for a situation that involved physical abuse (And mental), you need to get people involved who are there with you. All the advice in the world from a website is not going to help this. Talk to your friends, your parents, any authority figure you trust. I know you feel embarrassed, scared, ashamed, but you also know that you want to get out of this very unhealthy relationship. With the support of people who are physically and locally there for you, it will be much easier. and you'll be surprised at how supportive they actually will be, not the way you probably expect.
Find the strength in you. You DO have it.
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Seconded.
You're clearly ready for this to be over, you just need to take the steps to end it. It doesn't sound like you live with him, so that's good. I would start with the things WhatItTook said, get people involved that can support you. Then break all contact. Change your number if you need to, get a new email address, etc. This part can be very difficult. I would also get some counceling. Breaking this off is going to be a difficult and you will likely need some professional help to get through this and make sure you don't end up in a similar situation again. You can do this! Stay strong.
Re: To controlled wizer_now: The guy is beating you up, his family members are striking you (?), he's disrespecting you, having unsafe unprotected sex with you and obviously could care less about you.
It's time to go.
Re: To controlled ninja30: Look hun, you need to get away from this situation before you get hurt both mentally and physically. I agree in that you need to let someone else know about this who is close to you like a family member, etc.
