Cannot believe what she asked me to do. cs9043: Hello again,
Here I am six months after I found out my wife was having an affair with my friend and only about two months of her not trying to contact him or look him up. Things were going pretty well for the past two months. We are spending more time together, doing more things together, I'm trying to be more sensitive to her and her feelings, and also trying to be more pleasing to her with sex as she said that these were some of the things that was missing. Then last night, after two marriage councillors telling us that it is a bad idea and me telling her in sessions how I felt about having children, she asked me about trying to have children again.....can you believe that? Here we are trying to get through these terrible times and all she wants to do is pick up where we left off. When I said to her that I wasn't ready to take that step she asked me when I was going to be. I said that I didn't know when and she didn't speak to me for the rest of the night.
Today she came by to where I worked and I went out to talk to her. We discussed some things and I told her how I felt about things. I asked her a simple question, Do we need to have a child in order for you to want to stay in this marriage? Her reply was that she didn't know after a long awkward pause. Now I don't know for sure, but I would think that I would be crazy to have a child with this woman with things the way they are. I also resent that she was willing to go with this other guy and no children was needed. I must say that it made me feel pretty low. I just said to her that she tends to take things for herself with no regard for who she hurts. I never said that I didn't want children right now to punish her or to hurt her. I did it becuase it isn't fair to put that kind of pressure on a unborn child. I want my wife to be with me for me. My belief is that children should enhance a marriage not save one. She just dosen't see things that way. I guess that I will have to get ready for the worst.
Re: Cannot believe what she asked me to do. wizer_now: Having a child with this woman is the worst decision you could possibly make. It's a good thing that you already know that and you are just looking for validation.
Consider yourself validated.
Re: Cannot believe what she asked me to do. Freckles: Was She having the Affair because you would not give Her a Child ?
Having Children are Important to a Woman
Re: Cannot believe what she asked me to do. wizer_now: What Freckles is saying is that it's all your fault that she had an affair because you refused to have children with her, and that you should not blame her.
Re: Cannot believe what she asked me to do. ninja30: In all fairness, and this doesnt excuse cheating, is this something that you both planned on going into the marriage? did she know from the start that you were not interested in having a child?
