Re:Clearing the air. lemondrop: I agree!
Re:Clearing the air. Bug: Sorry Broken, I disagree. By dividing the site you would destroy the whole automosphere of Ojar. I think. Just my opinion.
Re:Clearing the air. admin: All,
I have no plans to divide this site.
- Michael.
Re:Clearing the air. Bug: Ok guys I just want to make a point here. I am a leaver and a lot of you are my friends. You know my story so you think of me as one of you. You do not judge me for leaving. But let’s say I got on here and all I said was I left my husband but he is acting like a jerk now and I’m tired of dealing with him. I'm pretty sure you would all say "duh, you left him and hurt him, of course he is acting like a jerk and you deserve it"
I am not saying cheating is right. I am saying the people that do it are human. As Cop501 showed us. We do not know the story. To just say they are cheaters and leave it at that is not right. It would be like saying I am a leaver and that is who I am. Cheating is a mistake pure and simple. Those who do so and those who keep doing so are in a frame of mind you cannot understand unless you have been there. In my darkest times with my husband, when I was severely depressed, if someone had come along and said the right things, made me feel like I wasn't worthless, I cannot say with absolute certainty I wouldn't have made the same mistake. I lost sight of that yesterday. Years of pain and loneliness will do things to your thinking you cannot even begin to imagine. A persons actions is not who they are. Sometimes they make a mistake and sometimes they don't know that it was a mistake because they are/ or were confused. Before you lash out, take a step back and breathe. I will not expect people to agree with me. However as a slight rebuke, thinking you are totally right and they are totally wrong is the same kind of thinking that permeates a lot of the most darkest times in our history. People are people no matter what they have done.
Re:Clearing the air. timetobefree: To Michael and all,
I apologize for jumping into the situation yesterday and adding fuel to the fire. While I will never condone nor understand how anyone could cheat, I apologize for making my opinion known. Michael, I apologize for violating the rules of the board, and I can say with certainty that it will not happen again. I have seen many, many posts on here that have offended me, and I normally just avoid them. However, that one got to me and I lost sight of who I am and what I am trying to do, which is heal. Do I still see myself as a victim? Yep. Do I want to learn to move past that? Absolutely. Which is why I want to stay and learn and heal and become a better person.
I have learned so much from ojar already and want to continue, so thank you Michael for all you have done to help us heal. Now it is my turn to do my part, which is letting go of my hurt and anger and deep public humiliation of being cheated on.
Take care,
Amy :)
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