Re:Another leaver here... CPmommy: [quote author=marfanoidus link=board=1;threadid=5009;start=0#msg39047 date=1098386368">
Much of what you describe to me reminds of the proverbial bridge which once a woman crosses she can never cross again.
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Yes, I think this is where I am. And, of course, I feel "wrong" for not wanting to "work on it" and go to marriage counseling, which he wants to do. I've said that I'm not willing to go to marriage counseling until he gets help for his issues. He doesn't think he needs to. He thinks he can do it himself and that any other issues will be worked out through the marriage counseling.
I have a hard time sticking to my guns with him. But intelectually, I know it's what is best for my children. It's just hard to take that step....
Speaking of my children, he actually asked my 5 yo son the other day what he would think if daddy moved out. Of course, he started crying. He loves his daddy, however screwed up his daddy may be. And I know that was done to push my buttons.....I just have to keep reminding myself of that.
Thanks for the kind words, everyone. I've been lurking for a while, just reading posts. I'll keep hanging around, keep you updated.
Shannon
Re:Another leaver here... favoriteangel2003: CP Mommy,
Hello, I have recently joined the Ojar group and havent told my story yet but you told it for me. I hope you email me so we can talk. I too, am in you situation. I am a stay at home mom for the past 3 years, I have a 7 year old and a 3 year old. I have a husband who is a alcoholic and I hear that there are different stages and he just moved up one. He doesn't drink everyday but it's like every 6 months he has to get out of control with drinking and 3 weeks ago I told myself I have had enough. I too have tried and tried and tried...I have lost myself to trying to save this relationship just for the sake of our children. I can't do that anymore, I am dieing inside, I have completely checked out now. What is one to do after 13+ years. He wants to do marriage counseling also, but we have tried that already and I am tired of the same song and dance, I am just tired period. I told him the drinking has to stop, he said he won't do that for me(OUCH!) He said he wouldn't drink and drive anymore but if he wants to have a beer he is going to have a beer. I told him that this isn't working for us and if his quitting drinking meant I would stay then he should try...just try it. He told me No! He wouldn't have any part of an altimadum. But who is giving the altimadum? I have finally woken up and it hurts like hell. I am suffering and because of that my children are suffering and have been for a long time. How is mommy suppose to love them when mommy isn't being loved. Just pray that you will make the right decisions for yourself and your precious little ones. They deserve it. I am in the same boat and would love to talk to you. I am wishing you all the best!!!
