"Ex In-Laws" What to do? grober: Hey,
It has been a while since I've posted. For those who are new, here's a brief summary. My X had an affair after 11 years (7 married) of our relationship. Now she is remarried (not the to the OM) and has moved out of state. I'm seeing someone great and honestly have been considering marriage.
My X's mom called me the other day. I wasn't home, but got the V-Mail. She said she was thinking about me and wondering how I am doing. She also mentioned that my niece and nephewn ahd been asking about me.
I was VERY close to them while married to my X. Toward the end of my divorce, it was just too painful to be around my X's family. I was also afraid it would keep me from healing. While I did miss them, I felt it was best to get back on my feet.
I just don't know if I want to have some sort of relationship with my former in-laws. I feel guilty for that, which kinda bugs me. I still care about them, but don't want to risk my X trying to get back into my life and maybe ruining my current relationship.
Re:"Ex In-Laws" What to do? RecoveringinDE: Hi there!
It doesn't hurt to have a relationship with your Ex In Laws. Especially when children are involved. My stbx is close to my niece and I make sure she understands that she can still talk to him without hurting my feelings. Granted, we also have a daughter together, so there will always be a tie there. I still keep contact w/my stbx in laws and the cousins etc.
If you think that your Ex may interfere with your current relationship, then maybe keep it limited? ???
Re:"Ex In-Laws" What to do? seth: At least you got a phone call. I got nothing but threats. And I liked those people. I lost so many people it hurts.
Re:"Ex In-Laws" What to do? grober: Thanks for the replys.
My X is extremely manipulative. And if she new I was staying in contact with her family, she may try to somehow use that to get back in with me. The last few times we talked, she tried to convince me that "we deserved" another chance (even though she is now remarried!)
Not that I would EVER really consider that, but it is just a hassle that I'd rather not put up with.
Re:"Ex In-Laws" What to do? Beren: I could see myself being in a similar position in the not too distant future. I was pretty close to my ex's nieces. One of them (about 18 years old) took my aside and told me that I was still part of the family no matter what happened with me and Kim. For now, it's just like you said, it's too painful for me to be around them, but who knows what will happen in time?
I don't think there'd be anything wrong with you keeping in touch or not keeping in touch. The way I see it, feelings of guilt shouldn't have any place in your decision. If contacting your ex-laws is more trouble than it's worth, why should you feel guilty about it? On the other hand, if it's worth the trouble, go for it.
[quote"> The last few times we talked, she tried to convince me that "we deserved" another chance (even though she is now remarried!)[/quote">
I'd find that pretty d@mned funny if it weren't so sad. Kinda makes me want to vomit.
Quasi-Evil Beren
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