its over mphs: I have to get a divorce and i have only been married for 4 months. My new husband who I had lived with for three years started acting different. He was pulled away and not into doing anything. He went and talked to someone and they diagonosed him with Bipolar Disorder. Still at home he was very mean to me. I didn't wash the clothes right, drive right, feed the pets the right food and certianly didn't do naything in his mind to make him happy. I was doing all I could and he did seem interested. He wouldn't kiss me or tell me about his day. I called him on his behavior and he agreed to go talk to someone. For 2 weeks until our appointment he just called me mean names and pu me and my family down. Half way through our appt. he got up and said he was done with us. When I got home I asked him to leave and he threatened to kill me. I had to call the cops and file a report. Since then I have been scared. I have had to change the locks and hire an attorney so wE can get an divorce. He has been gone for a week. I don't understand what happened and why he gave up on us and why he would threaten to kill me. I have since had to deal with cops and resraining orders. I am so disappointed and hurt. I loved this man with all my heart and now it is over and he doesn't even care. I wont take back someone that threatened to kill me so this is now my only option. I am so sad and angry. Why did he want to get married in the first place. I don't understand what is going on! Thanks for listening!
mphs
Re:its over christian: I am sorry for you. I was diagnosed w/ bipolar III (antidepressant caused), 6 years after I was put on Paxil by my personal physician. The sexual side effects not withstanding, I was a completely different person- moody, aggressive, and most assuredly a plain prick. Unfortunately, my diagnoses wasn't until AFTER my stbx decided to file for a divorce. I love her more than anything- I stopped the Paxil 3 mos. ago, and am back to normal. I am still w/out her, but that is her call to make, not mine.
If you truly love him, try to talk him into continuing treatment. If he does, great. Ifhe can't (and trust me, it will be can't, not won't, if this happens- bipolar is a motherlover to fight) than you have to do what is right for you.
Good luck.
P.S. Please ignore any spelling errors- I am doing my best to ruin my liver.:D
Re:its over mphs: Thanks for writing. He doesn't believe he has this problem so it is so hard to help him. But he left and it hurts so much to see his lack of emotion. I know it is part of bipolar but he can't even see how he is hurting me or him. I just can't believe this iis happening. I am in shock, needless to say. I am glad you were able to realize and overcome your problem. If he would get help and try to make this work I would do it in a heartbeat. ???
Re: its over Duncan: I can relate to your feelings of being ready to take him back if he would make an effort to change, but even when they do "change" it may not be permanent. My wife (together for 9 yrs) was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder. In a manic phase she (a successful 29 yr old business woman nearing completion of a college degree) had an affair with an older (mid 30s) meth addict with a GED and a long criminal record in January. We went through several months of counseling, medications, etc. About 2 months ago she abruptly left, moved out, resumed her affair, went off meds, ran up massive debts, and cut off her ties to her family. Currently divorce papers have been filed, as has a restraining order on the meth addict (who busted in my door and tried to assault me in my own home while she watched). Her own father (a career police officer) suggested that I purchase a firearm to protect myself from them both (as she is in clinical psychosis). I love my wife and would have done anything for her, but she had to be the one willing to work on her mental health...as does your husband. Even if he is willing to change, it is unlikely that he will be able to sustain those changes. As painful as this is, he like my wife are probably going to be unable to be a contributing member of any marriage. No matter how much you love him, you may be fortunate to escape now. I lost the love of my life to this horrible disease. I am sorry to hear that you have as well.
Re: its over MSTRAWSMA: Wow. Very similar situation to mine. Though my husband would never even go to counseling with me. I am proud of you for calling the cops too, I only threatened to calm him down, I never actually followed through. How hard it must have been to do that to someone you love. Be strong. We had pushing and shoving, but mostly verbal abuse is the cause of most of our problems. I am finally learning that it's not selfish to put yourself first. I am ashamed it's taken me this long, but I am staring to be more and more relieved by the minute. Though it may be hard, turn and don't look back. You didn't mention children, so it shouldn't be as difficult, though it be easy at all. Try not to question what went wrong, Everything happens for a reason and you deserve to be happy, healthy, and safe!
Click More for the next page.
