Dear Peanut... christian: I am sorry I wasn't stronger. Last February, I lost everything. Our house, my sobriety, and my self respect.
When my parent's told us they were selling the house we lived in, I didn't think things could get any worse. I was wrong. When I got to work that day, I found someones stash of crystal meth in the bathroom. I gave in. After 10 years, I couldn't resist the call of the pipe. It was there in my face, and god/dess help me, I fell from grace.
And I don't blame you for kicking me out on July 1st. I needed to hit rock bottom (again), I guess. Well, I did.
And pulled myself up, again. And alone, again. I thought if I went to counseling, for drugs and marriage, you might go to. So that we could save what we had. But you refused.
I still understand, though. Your father was a drunk, drugged out SOB. You brother is a drunk. I am an addict. But- the fact is you did not do anything, I did. I f'd up, fixed it, and still you refused to help save our marriage.
Please know that I will always love you, but after the finalization, I can never see you- it will hurt too much. So, I am sorry for everything. Sorry for going back to crystal meth, sorry for lying to you about it, and sorry for ruining your life. But I am not sorry for marrying you- I will always remember the greatest 8 years of my life.
Love,
Pooh-Bear
