All things seemd find, UNTIL!!!!!! tyskiver: It was 4 yrs ago, we met. Everything about us seemed perfect. Got together, got pregnant, got married, had another kid. This whole time we lived with my parents. Now, HE DECIDED that we were over. No problems (that I knew of).
It all started when he and the father in law argued. My dad told him he had to leave. He went to a relatives. We talked everyday, LOVE YOU, MISS YOU. We went to his relative. During this time, his other daughter decided she wanted to rekindle the relationship. GREAT, at least I thought. He went to see her. WONDERFUL, I'll get to meet her. Then........
He stopped talking to me, answering my messages, even trying to talk with his other 2 kids. After about a week 1/2, he decided that we were over. He walked out my door, into the mother of his other daughter's door. Which by the way is in another state.
Now, I'm the unfit parent. He'll do more for his girls then I will do in my lifetime. I'm not to call him unless it is an emergency. He doesn't call to see if their ok or if they need anything. He has never really supplied any type of support, financially, emotionally, etc. Now he thinks I should just let him take my girls with him for a visit. I know in my heart, that I will never see them if this happens.
Of course, their is more to the story that just the little brief I have described. However, how do you deal with someone whom tells you he loves you and misses you one day and then the next decides that he doesn't want a life with you. (as it seems with his kids)
Its so confusing, frustrating, at times very unbearable. I feel that I was just the person whom filled the void for him until "she" was free again.
I hope (not really) that someone else out there has experienced at least something of what I have stated.
Please, HELP ME GET THROUGH THIS. I have seen him since he left and feel nothing but disgust and disappointment.
Re:All things seemd find, UNTIL!!!!!! lookin4alite: Tammy,
I wanted to respond to let you know we are here for you. What has happened to you is nothing short of horrible. Ojar has many people here who can share alot of love and support. Yours is a difficult situation. First you are not an unfit parent, he is the complete @ss. You are completely right about your gut feelin -- not to let him get access to the kids. I would seek out a lawyer fast, get an injunction against him to prevent him from taking the children out of city/county/state, whichever you prefer. Then if you want he can have a limited visitation. If you don't do this, he can take them wherever he wants. If you do, then anything he violates would put him in jeopardy of Kidnapping. Seek out the lawyer before you leave the children alone with him.
Sorry I am usually harsh and direct and not a great coddler of the issues. But you will get support here.
Take Care
Lite
Re:All things seemd find, UNTIL!!!!!! LKN4ME: Tammy-
I see your point. My husband went to another state to see his son and ended up having an affair with the ex. Tried to talk her into moving to our state, telling her that he was leaving me, etc. I found out about the affair and told him we were done. After about a week he decided he wanted to work on things. We are trying to work things out, but I don't know if I can forgive him or not.
I wouldn't let the kids go out of state with him. But maybe I'm just paranoid. I would definitely file paperwork to insure that you are the primary custodian of your children. I'm not sure how it is in your state, but in mine, if both parents names are on the birth certificate and there is no legal paperwork done then custody is 50/50 and whoever has the children when paperwork is filed tends to get to keep the children til it goes to court.
If you file paperwork, become the primary custodian, then decide to work things out with your husband, then fine, but at least you have protected yourself.
I don't know how long it's been since he decided to go to the ex, but my husband figured out pretty quick that being here with his other children was where he wanted to be and not the ex. He felt guilty for not being there for her and his son.
Good luck to you. If you need to talk, just PM me.
