Re:How not to become clingy while dating? Suddenly Single: I think I might be clingy. I'm not a multiple dater. I am a very monogamous person and haven't dated around with many people at the same time. So when I am dating a guy - he is the only person I'm paying attention to so I tend to have more time on my hands for him. In some ways I like that about me but on the other hand it is a pain in the rear because then I don't date around and get to meet different people.
Re:How not to become clingy while dating? jason_stl: clingy to me is defined as the following:
Going on a first date the second week in November. Then talking on the phone and e-mail a bit. After only six to seven days have passed, being asked, "So, what are WE doing for Thanksgiving?"
... I suddenly developed a bad case of cell static to buy me enough time to think of how to tell her, politely that this just isn't going to work.
Re:How not to become clingy while dating? scrdbyelmo: ok, i neeeeeeddd help apparently...from all of you guys. I am, by definition in this string of replies, very clingy...
Is it insecurity that i'll lose what sometimes brings the only emotional happiness to my life? I don't know but please help me overcome or deal with (in my mind) getting rid of all the bad clingy things you just rattled off...except for the call him if he's late...haven't done that yet but a big positive on all else...
---daily phone calls(Usually 2-3, but i've worked it down to 1-2, maybe even 1 some days)
---premature i love you
---it's october almost november, we've been dating since june and i think i'll be mad if we're not together for at least thanksgiving if not that and christmas(do you see the horror im throwing myself)
---monogomous dater
---i excessively do things for him(opening myself up for hell, i.e. spoiling him)
---Gawd forbid he not answer the phone when i know he's capable like he where's it on his hip and has call waiting
ok i except all of these things are not good for me and sickeningly clingy...and, dating a long term bachelor and all I'm surprised he's still around me...
HELP!!!
Re:How not to become clingy while dating? jason_stl: Scrdbyelmo, no one ever said that there isn't room in this world for clingy people. Some people just have a greater tolerance for it than others. If it makes you happy and secure in the relationship then keep on keepin' on.
Don't go changin' yourself just because popular opinion says you should only need to talk once every two to three days. Provided you like it the way it is, then you are just fine. And I might add for as many people that complain about clingyness, I am sure there are just as many that like the constant attention.
P.S. If you have been dating since June (exclusively) then Thanksgiving and Christmas are implied in the relationship.
Re:How not to become clingy while dating? marfanoidus: You know, I think you touched on the problem there.
Maybe its toon soon.
I for one would love to have a clingy partner - but only later in the relationship.
I read once where there are like 12 levels to a husband-wife relationship. We all start at level one, and progress towards level 12, becoming more deeply involved with each step. The article said that if one of the partners travels faster than the other and becomes more than 1 level more deeply attached than the other, that problems arise immediately and always.
It boils down to 1 person moving at a speed which is uncomfortable to the partner.
But, I LOVE clingy - it means she really likes me.
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