Does Trust Die Forever? Jernigan: There's a part of me that's almost afraid to ask this question, but once one partner doesn't trust another, is the situation irrevocable? Or can trust be established again? If so, how? Or is it simply a matter of time and action? Counselling and open communication?
I ask because my wife informs me she doesn't trust me at the moment. And she also speculates that I have major trust issues that arise from guilt, shame and self-loathing. Perhaps she's right; it's a matter I'll bring up to my therapist.
Re: Does Trust Die Forever? Video_Producer: I think it depends on how the trust may have been lost, I know that I will never trust my STBX again, from the moment I caught her in her first lie and it still continues.
I always wanted her back, I thought that I could overcome the affair and maybe make things better, but as time went on I realized that I would never trust her 100% again, even for the smallest things, if she said she had to work late, would I believe her, maybe maybe not. For all those situations that changed last minute I would wonder why and what she was doing. It was that thinking that helped me move on, knowing I would never live always questioning every move she made. If the 2 of you are willing to try then there is always that possibility that you will allow yourselves to trust again, but I know that once she lied, and broke my trust I would never again be able to look at her the way I did before she had the affair. Could this be worked out, maybe, I don't have that option but I know if the question was asked to me "Will you ever trust her 100% again ?" the honest answer would be No.
-r-
Re: Does Trust Die Forever? grober: I think trust can be re-gained. However, if someone feels betrayed, they will sooner give their trust to a complete stranger than to the person who "betrayed" them. At least the stranger has the "clean slate" going for them.
She will have to give you a real chance. Then you must prove yourself all over again. That means doing exactly what you say you're going to do when you say you're going to do it. Even honest mistakes like forgetting something work against you. It takes time and lots of it. And you may have to put with a good bit of jelously.
I gave my X several chances to regain my trust during our separation. She would say she would call and wouldn't. We would make plans to get together, she would "forget". All those little things just reinforced her untrustworthiness in my eyes.
It is a hard task. It all depends on your wife. Is she willing to take a chance with you? Everyone has a point of no return. If you've crossed her's, getting real trust back may not be possible.
BTW, I don't understand why she thinks you have trust issues.
Good luck.
Re: Does Trust Die Forever? INCT: Jernigan,
I think you have to want to. I don't think trust will reappear overnight, I can't say that I will blidly trust again. (once burned..) but I will try to trust as much as possible.
So in short, I do think you can get trust back. I know I have and I vowed never to trust again ( 2 yrs ago)
INCT
Re: Does Trust Die Forever? admin: You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drop of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty - Mohandas Gandhi
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