My Mom Is Good... LaurenH: My mom has once again shocked me. She was married when she was 20 as well. And when I was wanting to get married, I had to hear over and over how it would be a mistake. Well, even though I am getting divorced, she is not throwing it in my face.
It just makes me want to cry my eyes out! I am so pulled in every direction as to what to do. And there she still is to be there for me.
She was very upset as to why my soon-to-be-ex and I are divorcing. (for those who have not read my story, my husband is gay now.) She won't even look at him.
How has everyone else's parents reacted?
Re: My Mom Is Good... Bob: My parents have been very supportive of all of the request I have made to them. The biggest one was not to contact my soon to be ex or her parents. They want us to go to a counselor and work it out and I would want that too but she doesn't. We did go once and the therapist said that we have resolvable problems but we need to both want to be there. My problem is with her parents. They would not talk to me about it and when I sent them e-mail they responded by saying that all of their daughter's unhappiness is a result of me. They don't like to address that she was on anti-depresants before me and became depressed again because of her family problems. Since we don't have children, her parents have told her to get out of the relationship as soon as she can. They piss me off because I thought they would support the two of us. I had asked for their support if we ever had a problem at the same time that I had asked for their daughter's hand in marriage. Your sitution would have been a lot worse if you had children. I know of the same thing with an old friend who's husband was gay and they had a son. She took it hard, way too hard and has very strong emotional problems. She also became very religous as a result of her problem and you know what becoming VERY religious can do to a person. Take care of yourself and don't blame yourself or look to make any drastic changes. It's not your fault and you couldn't have controlled it. Your lucky you found out when you did.
Re: My Mom Is Good... Lilly: My parents have always been my life line. I always thought I could lean on them in any crisis. It has taken my marriage problems to make me realize that all I really have in all this to rely on is myself. My parents tell me that I am selfish. I am immature. I am stupid. They don't say those words but I know them enough to hear them in every word they say. If I have to hear "I told you so" one more time I will throw up. HAve they NEVER made ANY mistakes!!!!! They bring up mine over and over. I never finished college (were they paying for it...nooo). I quit my job (after having a nervous breakdown and landing in the hospital for 4 days with severe exhaustion and dehydration). Now, according to them, I'm quitting my marriage. I found no help there. The only person who can guide you in life is you. :'(
Re: My Mom Is Good... Liorah: Bob-
I don't think you can blame your wife's parents for the marital problems. You may want to consider looking within instead of blaming. Also, millions of people are on anti-depressants for a multitude of reasons. If you knew that when you married her, why stigmatize her now as if taking care of herself is a stigma?
Maybe you could have chosen a therapist instead of expecting her to do it? Sounds like you just didn't take responsibility for your own role in the relationship; all the marital problems are someone else's fault- her, her parents, bad therapists, etc. May you achieve fulfillment in your next relationship. Best to you.
Re: My Mom Is Good... DidIt4Me: My mother was there for me. In fact I sent my ex to be with my mother when I was weighed what I wanted to do. She knew something was wrong long before we decided to divorce. My grandmother was sad but only wanted for me to be happy within, my ex was abusive mentally and emotionally. My great grandmother has asked once if we tried couseling, but again only wants for me to be happy. It was my father and my brother that seemed to be questioning me choice to leave. They knew what I was enduring but it took them a while to support me completely.
I think my family could see it coming long beofre things were even said. Some times body language is enough. His family, they were caught off guard, but they never participated in our lives to begin with. It made me sad that he had no support so I allowed him to confide in mine, until he started to take advantage of thier love. Then they put an end to it.
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