Moving on.. People and Parents.. INCT: To all,
I have been divorced for almost a year. During the cooling off period my ex-wife moved out of state and I moved to a new place and started my life over.. I actually begain to date someone, (not the first person I met I did go out with other people) I went to therapy twice a week for most of the year, figuring out about myself all the while seeing my girlfriend. Since Memeorial Day she and I have been going to see my doctor together. He thinks we are wonderful together, we have asked about rebound things and what not and he says not. We had discussed moving in together and now are finally going to do it.
No one is happy for us. I can understand concern, and I can understand people asking if it's a wise idea. But, my parents won't talk to me and won't even discuss it ( not that I need there approval) but it would be nice. I'm just wondering is moving on sometimes hampered by those around us who think that there must be a time set on healing? or a date set on getting on with your life? Are we supposed to stop trying?
thanks
INCT
Re: Moving on.. People and Parents.. sp7561: I cant really say anthing on the subject cause I havent been that far yet. But it is very cool to read that maybe there actually is a chance at happiness again :) Happy for ya!!
Re: Moving on.. People and Parents.. INCT: SP,
Most definitely there is a chance at happiness. I never wanted the divorce and loved my ex-wife very much. I had burried my head to the problems we had. once I learned about them and myself, I have been able to move on. That's not to say that it doesn't back up on me, but my girlfriend understands and WE work through our tough times together and enjoy the good times together.
good luck there are good people out there.
INCT
Re: Moving on.. People and Parents.. Finley: INCT,
What exactly is rebound and how do you know if you are experiencing it?
It's too bad that your parents can't be happy for you. What is it about your choices that makes them unhappy? Ultimately though, you have to make decisions for yourself and not others, not an easy thing to do. It certainly makes things harder for the people you care about not to support your choices, but perhaps they will come around in time?
Re: Moving on.. People and Parents.. INCT: Finlay,
for me, a rebound relationship would be if you don't take any amount of time after the end of a relationship to figure out what part of it went wrong due to yourself. (some people claim a magical year will help) but to me it can be a month, 2 months a year and sometimes more.
case in point I can blame my ex-wife for everything, but I was the one empowered her. Once I figured that out and how and why I did that I felt that I could try to move on. Once I started to deal with the emotional turmoil I let myself get into only then did I feel ready. I guess for me, I needed to like me once again before I could share myself with anyone. I didn't look at a new relationship as a silver bullet that would make my past disappear or provide instant happiness. Only I could provide that.
INCT
