The little ones get hurt too blue_eyes: I'm starting to see this affect my son who is 3. My stbx lives with his mom now. He only get my son about 1 day per week which is fine, it's probably more than he saw him before. But when my son comes home now he always seems really tired, whinny, sad. He doesn't seem to be the same child that left-even though he LOVES going over there. I don't know if it's the change in schedule or what. But I wonder to if he is missing his daddy when he gets home. I don't know-I wish I knew! Anyone have suggestions on how to make this easier for him. ???
Re: The little ones get hurt too Sunny1971: Unfortunately, this is an adjustment period and I'm sure your son is missing his dad and what he had just like you are. Give him time and try to ask him about his feelings...also, as hard as it may be, talk to your stbx about some family time. I know the one thing that has really helped my son (3 1/2) is that his dad and I still get together and take him to the park or do other family activities. It also gives his father and I a chance to discuss any issues with our son on neutral territory. Good luck!
Re: The little ones get hurt too Lisaf: I have a 3 and 5 year old and "transition" day (the day they leave his place to come to mine and vice versa) is always very difficult!
All I can say is that you have to let him know if he's sad, that's okay. Another thought is this...since he's three does he usually still nap a bit in the afternoon? Maybe he is really on the go when he's with dad (lots of high energy activities to make up for lost time) so he's really wiped out when he gets home?
I know my 3 year old is just starting to say stuff like "I'm sad that you and daddy don't live together" but its hard to tell if he's using what he's heard me discuss with his sister as a way to identify what a feeling is whether that is where it comes from or not.
Lisa
Re: The little ones get hurt too Old_Shoes: My eight year old daughter goes through this transition day poorly as well. The first day at my house she is angry. I give her some room, but don't let it get out of hand. When she goes to bed the first night I sit down with her and talk. Sometimes we talk about mom and dad sometimes about other things. My six year old son doesn't seem to have the transition day problems as much.
I have set up a counselling appointment for the kids next week so we'll see how that goes.
Re: The little ones get hurt too meganB: I've got two kids- ages 3 and 1- and the day before their dad picks them up and the two days after he brings them home they're miserable... clingy and defiant and angry and weepy. I hate to see them go through this, (the three-year-old is definitely upset, I think the baby is going off of her negativity) but I don't know what I can do about it. My husband left us (without any hint of a problem beforehand) in October, and now he only sees them from Saturday evening until Sunday afternoon. He tells our daughter he's "at work" the rest of the time. We've moved in with my parents so she knows there's more to it than that, but at three she doesn't understand when I try to talk to her about what's going on and I don't want to confuse her more by going against what little her dad IS telling her. Has anyone gone through this that might be able to give me some ideas? I can't even handle this situation, I don't know how I can expect her to! Thanks.
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