Re: The little ones get hurt too Old_Shoes: One of the things that kills me is when my children tell me why my wife left. My daughter blames me. When she gets angry she will shout out reasons for her mother leaving. Our child counselor confirms that she blames me. Not that I needed to be told that.
I have always told them it was no ones fault and that it has nothing to do with them. That we will both always still love them no matter what happens. Not so sure what their mother says about the blame.
Re: The little ones get hurt too down2basics: I know how you feel. Time is the only cure I know of. I've tried very hard to be consistent in my children's lives. My son however, has developed a severe eating disorder. He eats for comfort, and brother has needed a lot of comforting lately. He is seven years old and weighs 103....Whooosh! My ex lets him sit in front of the TV and eat....and eat....and eat...this is the last thing that child needs...but my ex does it so he does too.
There is no real answer that I've found. Just be patient with your kids and let them know that you love them unconditionally. When they ask, "Why aren't you together?" just be as politically correct and easy as possible. I say things like, "Well...don't you remember how miserable Mommy and daddy were when we lived together? Do you want us to go back to that lifestyle?" The answer is usually an emphatic, "NO!"...but change is very hard on any child, however, the consolation is, they are also very resilient.
Re: The little ones get hurt too PghMama: [quote author=meganB link=board=10;threadid=547;start=0#msg3434 date=1040980285">
I've got two kids- ages 3 and 1- and the day before their dad picks them up and the two days after he brings them home they're miserable... clingy and defiant and angry and weepy. I hate to see them go through this, (the three-year-old is definitely upset, I think the baby is going off of her negativity) but I don't know what I can do about it. My husband left us (without any hint of a problem beforehand) in October, and now he only sees them from Saturday evening until Sunday afternoon. He tells our daughter he's "at work" the rest of the time. We've moved in with my parents so she knows there's more to it than that, but at three she doesn't understand when I try to talk to her about what's going on and I don't want to confuse her more by going against what little her dad IS telling her. Has anyone gone through this that might be able to give me some ideas? I can't even handle this situation, I don't know how I can expect her to! Thanks.
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