I really HATE my MIL lostinlife: Ok - here is the situation. My in-laws are fairly well off. Well, more like REALLY well-off. However, they treat my husband like crap and have for many years. Since long before we ever met and married. But their other children are treated like gold. They don't like my husband because he does not tow the line and bow to their wishes, nor does he allow them to run his life.
At the beginning of this year, when we sold our house and were looking for a new one, they promised to give us the down payment money for a new house. For a while, we were looking at houses in the same area as they currently live. Every time we found a house that we liked, they would find something that was not right and refuse to give us the money. SO, we started looking in the area that I wanted to be in, which is in the same school district as we are currently. We finally found a house, and told them about it. We asked if we could count on the deposit money from them, and if so, we had to have it soon for the bank to see it in our account. Last week, they agreed and said that they would deal with it on Monday of this week. Well, Monday came and went - no deposit money. Tuesday, my husband gets a message to call them and speaks with his mother. SHE can't understand why we won't be moving to their area, and offers to BUY and GIVE him the house that is for sale across the street. After a year of bull-sh!t and waiting for them to follow through on the down-payment gift, she wants to GIVE him a house, so long as it is the one across from them. NO THANKS!!!! The price tag on that house is WAY to much. I don't think that the "payments" would be worth the hassel. It would mean that they now own him. And I have no desire to move the kids out of the area that we are in and change their schools from one of the best in the state to one of the worst.
The worst part is, that knowing how they feel about him and me, and knowing how I feel about moving out their, my "loving" husband actually considered discussing the move with me and wanted me to accept the house. PLEASE! Does he think that moving out their would do anything for us, or anything for his relationship with his family. That would just prove to them that he can be bought and that they can now tell him to do whatever and he will fall blithely into line.
God - I am so angry about this. I understand that he wants them to care about him as they do their other children, but this is not the way to have it happen. They will NEVER be anything other than controlling and manipulative. Not the type of influence that I want on my children. I already have to deal with some of the damage that they did to my husband growing up, and I refuse to allow them to poison my boys the way they did their own boys.
So, Now what? I am looking at the mortgage papers, and realizing that without the down-payment that they promised a year ago, we cannot afford to purchase the house and we will be stuck living with my folks for much longer. But we also can not afford the emotional price tag on the house that she wants to give us.
I swear, if I could, I would take a 2x4 to the woman's head and beat her senseless. She will never know how much her treatment of my husband has adversely affected him and subseguently, our children. She is too self-centered and money hungry to ever care about a silly little thing like, feelings. One of these days, when I am not so angry at her, I may actually ask her why she hates him so much. If she even knows or remembers. This has been going on since before he was in high-school (he is 40 now). I want her to tell me, what on earth could have prompted a mother to treat any of her children this way? Does she even know or care how badly she emotionally crippled my husband. Or that I am now the one that has to deal with the aftermath of her destruction?????
Thanks for letting me vent..... there may be more later depending on any phone conversations that may happen.
LiL
Re:I really HATE my MIL clambakesX: girl, I can *SO* sing this song.
I found a lot of MIL-specific support on the boards at
www.motherinlawstories.com
Definitely don't want to take anyone away from Ojar, but the hard-core group at the MIL board did me worlds of good.
Re:I really HATE my MIL amess: My MIL is not exactly hopeless. Nothing a little prozac and a polo mallet wouldn't cure. :)
Re:I really HATE my MIL lostinlife: Care to share the polo mallett? ;D I could do some serious damage with one of those!
LiL
Re:I really HATE my MIL Shanna: My MIL is just a big phony bieotch, but I can be just as bad as her ; ) I call thirds on the mallet. Then again a meat tenderizer might jsut do the trick. >:(
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