Split after 11 years MR F: I have recently spilt from my wife after 11 years of marriage and feel terrible. We both met when we were 16 years of age and had our first child by the age of 18 and our second when we were 21. We are both now almost 35 and I have left home and living with a relative.
My wife says she is still very much in love with me, but unfortunately I don't feel the same way and to be honest I have never really been deeply in love with her. I have tried to work at our relationship over the years, but always in the back of mind I have known that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with this person.
I suppose we shouldn't have married really, but 11 years ago I had an enormous shock when I found out that she had planned a surprise wedding several weeks before it was due to take place. Initially I didn't want to , but felt I would be doing the right thing.
I had always planned to stay with my wife until both of our children had grown up and then I would try and make a new life for myself. Recently however we had a major argument during which she said that she felt that I didn't love her anymore. I couldn't go on lying to her any longer and told her that I didn't. I left that day and she was devastated. Telling my children that I was moving out is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, they were also very upset.
My wife has said that she wants me to move back and to try and make another go of it. I would love to move back if just for the sake of the kids but know that this would be for the wrong reason.
I feel at rock bottom at the moment due to all the upset I have caused, but couldn't go on living a lie. I have nowhere to live as yet and don't know what the future holds. I just hope that it doesn't have too much an adverse affect on the children, this is what really concerns me.
Thanks for listening. :(
Re:Split after 11 years caringmom: I'm not sure how to answer this yet, but I do have a question for you. Did you ask her to marry you, or did she just up and have this surprise wedding? It sounds like you had no idea of this. I just want to know if you had any intention of marrying her. I would never dream of springing a surprise wedding on someone.
Re:Split after 11 years MR F: I had no idea at all about the wedding, she had booked the registry office, bought a cake, booked the function room, bought the rings and even bought my suit without my knowing. I had no intention to marry her and would always try and change the subject whenever she tried to discuss it.
After we found out she was pregnant with out first child I said I would stand by her and I have always tried to do what was the 'right thing'.
Re:Split after 11 years caringmom: I have to tell you, that is all unique to me. I'm not sure how to answer, so I'm not going to say anything yet. I'm sorry you are going through all of this. But I'm better off waiting to respond until I've had more time to think about it.
You should have put this in another category though, the one "Tell Your Story Here". You might get more responses. I'm not sure of anyone else, but I rarely read in the category "A Place for Unsent Letters".
Re:Split after 11 years MR F: Is there anyway I can move it or will I have to re-type again?
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