Should I Fight for Him? Alison: I am yet again confused. My soon to be X and I have had 2 conversations in the past 4 days that makes me think I shouldn't jump into this divorce thing. We have been apart for a little over two months now. He has made no attempt to try other than to keep me hanging on with the things he says. A few weeks ago he said I was not a priority in his life and he did not want me. He said we needed to file.
So . . . I filed for divorce. Then I asked him to leave me alone, which he did for about 1 week. Then he started calling me to tell me little things about the kids, our finances, and to ask for his mail and other things. I kept my word and did not let him see me. Then on Sunday I had to call him because our son was acting out so bad at school that they called me and he was treating me very badly. Long story short we talked about the kids. Then we started talking about us. He said he still wants a divorce. But then he said I know I will regret this. I don't want other girls, I am only attracted to you. He told me I was a wonderful mother. He even said who knows what the future will bring for us. I asked him to clarify and he said we could end up together. He even cried.
Then today I called him to ask him about something and we started talking again. He said he is very confused. He says he knows that he wants things to change. He says he is scared to try, but he again said who knows what the future will bring for us. He cried again. In all we talked for about 45 minutes.
And now I am really confused. Do I wait? Do I fight for him and if so how? Do I stay away from him so he can't hurt me again? Is he just playing with my emotions again? I love him so much but I am so afraid and confused. Any thoughts or words of advise are welcome!
Please clear the clouds that block my vision.
Alison
Re:Should I Fight for Him? Shanna: I would go ahead with the divorce and still keep open to the idea that you may work things out. I wouldn't fight for him...it will jsut make him run. Marriage doesn't seem to be forever....Divorce doesn't have to be either.
Re:Should I Fight for Him? MadorSad: Did he say he would go to counseling you guys could start there it might help you both ??? work that part out file your papers if it works out rip them up if not you might get the closure you need.
Not much help but I think we are in the same boat and I'm confuised toooooooo :'(
MoS
Re:Should I Fight for Him? Alison: I want it to work out so badly that sometimes I wonder if I am grasping at straws. I realized just a few minutes ago that whenever I start thinking about working things out I get this sick feeling in my stomach and I spiral downward emotionally. I think that's because I know I am opening myself up to the hurt all over again but I'm not sure. Love sucks!!
Alison
Re:Should I Fight for Him? Lumpy: Dear Alison,
Just wondering what the major issues the two of you have that have brought you to this point? How long have you been married? Seems to me that both of you might be just a bit confused at this point. Have you talked to a third party together? It sounds like there is still some love left between you two. I'd avoid rushing into divorce until you're somewhat more convinced that it is the right thing to do. I've gotta respectfully disagree with Shanna here. Why not exhaust all other possibilities before putting your children through the pain and confusion of divorce. I hope the two of you figure things out. Stay Sane.
Click More for the next page.
