Goodbye Lies jen: I tried writing you a really long letter the other night, but it got way too long. I can't even remember what I had to say. Today, after talking to your sister, I realize that part of the reason I am functioning as well as I am is that I purposefully stop myself from thinking about you and all of your lies. But, since talking to her has me thinking about you, I might as well write you goodbye now.
With the holidays coming up and talking to your family members, I've heard about your dilemma. I never asked them to take my side. But, I am glad that they are sticking to what's right. I'm actually sorry that you don't see that your family members don't want to have to explain it to their children why you are there w/o me and with someone else. The only reason you get any acceptance at all from her family and her church is that you have been dishonest from the start. All you said was that you are getting a divorce. You left out that we are getting divorced because of your affair with her.
You are a coward. You acted like such a victim, struggling with your unhappiness and feeling like you never had a chance to figure out who you are. But, you are not taking this time to figure it out. Instead, you left our home, moved in with your mom for a few months, then moved in with her. So, you felt like you were pretending when you were with me, but your life hasn't become any more honest since your big confession. It was just another lie. Another excuse to make your actions less despicable.
But, I will thank you for the one truly honest thing you have done in this whole process, even if I don't believe the reason that you did it was to be honest. Because you told EVERYONE we know about your affair, I didn't have to. I don't have to pretend about anything. You knew I wouldn't tell everybody about what you did. I am much too private for that. You also know that I would have found it humiliating to think of others talking about our marriage, your cheating, etc. in casual conversation. Well, even if you put your sob story spin on it, I made some interesting discoveries because of your public disclosure. I discovered that I could care less about what others know or think they know. It has been strangely liberating. I don't think you realized that public empathy would be with me, so because of you I've found support I wouldn't otherwise have had.
I can be completely honest because I don't have anything to hide. I am willing to be honest, mistakes, ugliness, all of it. You, on the other hand, are still in hiding. I feel sorry for the man that you have become and sad because the man I thought I knew was heads and shoulders above the guy you've decided to be. You haven't taken responsibility for your choices or the consequences of those choices in any real way. You almost seem surprised by it all, like you just don't see anything wrong with it at all. I feel sorry for your family, who have tried to reach out to you, but who get pushed away because they didn't condone what you have done. I am sad for my family who opened their arms to you and were so good to you and you haven't tried to keep any relationships with them, even my sister who you've known since she was 8. I feel disheartened that you didn't respect our marriage and our friendship enough to handle things in a way where we could salvage a friendship from this. I am sad that you apparently don't care that you don't see our dogs anymore. I am sad that you have been able to forget our life together so easily.
But, I am ready to live without the lies that the past four months have shown me. There are too many lies to list and, in truth, the list doesn't matter any more. What matters is that I am going to have to find my own truth from this because your answers and explanations are all based in dishonesty and selfishness. So, goodbye to your lies. I will find my own answers and because I refuse to give you any more power in my life, I am going to make this the very best thing that could have happened to me. It will be hard, but I can do it ;D
Re:Goodbye Lies favoriteangel2003: YOU GO MTMO!!!! You told it how it is and you did it honestly...not painfully(if that makes sense?) I am definately feeling your pain in that letter but I am also feeling all the positives in that letter too. We have to let them go before we die anymore inside...you are better than that! Just read your letter. ;)
