Question for the women richmds: I just started thinking about the STBXW and cant figure out her personality change and its been buzzing around in my head ever since, so I was hoping some women here can shed some light.
When we were together she has always been conservative, into certain morals strongly, was a teacher and loved the kids would blow our budget sometimes to throw a kid a party whose parents didnt care or have the means to, called her mom or dad every month, and would act as school bus if the bus was late or broken, but one flaw that bugged me is that she would not be entirely truthful at times for instance the money for bills spent buying cakes or decorations for the school children parties I didnt think that was too responsible.
Ok after discovering infidelity, when I was moving out it seems she has turned into a different person. While I was moving out my last days she apparently had started acquiring porn, allowed her new friend to use my robe which I was going to get, had his stuff in furniture I was going to take, and her mother has told me she has not called her parents for a while, has not talked to any of her or both our friends, and old educators I run into are telling me she leaves early no longer cares one way or the other if a kid is gets on the bus.
When I did see her last she claims this is who she was before I knew her, but people that knew her longer say thats not true and I know deep down as well.
So I ask people I know and no one can figure it out. So I ask people her especially women what would make someone act completely different like this?
Re:Question for the women marfanoidus: How old is she?
Re:Question for the women richmds: 31, although she sometimes tells people 28.
I just found out from one of her concerned friends that her new friend is close to her fathers age and has a son mid 20's. :o
I wish it could be a reality TV that would be interesting.
Re:Question for the women Puppetonastring: She is trying to escape reality by fabricating something that she is not. It is a form of denial. My ex did something similar with her new boyfriend. She has a picture of the 2 of them on her keychain, she took one of our sex exploration books over to him. She sexed his brains out. When I found out about the infidelity in the confines of her crappy hotel room,while the guy hid in the bathroom, she replied she was going back to her old ways. Whatever that meant. In my mind , if that meant acting like a prostitute in the presence of our children, I wanted no part of it. The way I see it, there is some underlying issue that she has to face but does not want to. Stand back and watch how it turns out because it will not be pretty. The less stimulous you give to her , the better off you will be. Just let it play out and laugh about it if you can. I know the person that my ex is. It took me 9 years but I know wjho she is. And she knows I know who she is. Needless to say she is not proud of herself. She is lazy, has never been ambitious, decptive, flaky, unaccountable, and a mediocre mother to boot. Although I did get to know this several years into the relationship, she was the mother of our children and the sex was always abundant. Needless to say the sex and her company were no longer worth having as a tradeoff for her shortcomings which were many. So now she busy trying to start a new life of some sort with a young kid who is only interested in her for sex. Nothing wrong with that if you are the 22 year old kid in it for sex. But when you are the 31 year old mom of 2 that has no direction nor ambition in life except to leach off of another like a parasite, your sole existance is to do everything in the world to convince the new man that you are the next greatest thing hoping that you will be able to establish some security before the new guy figures out the real person behind the mask. If you are the leech, it can not be that great of a feeling to be going through life like that. So , my advice, let her put on her show to the point where she is just played out.
You can only escape reality for so long. Let the person marinate in there own stupidity.
Re:Question for the women devochic: It goes both ways. My STBX no longer talks with our mutual friends. Doesn't participate in activities outside the OW. Called his parents for only the second time since I left (even before I left which has been nearly 6 months).
Not talking to the parents is due to guilt. She knows her parents would be ashamed of her actions.
Good luck with everything. My husband changed as well. I wonder though if he can ever change back to the person I once loved. Alas, another memory of the past.
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