Any clue what this means lee: My H moved out, while im away on business trip. I am due to return on my birthday to our half empty house. So, now my H says he moved out to HELP our marriage. ???? He's had some jealousy issues & insecurities, but how does moving out fix things. I've been angry and hurt and i push him too hard, so sure we both have things to work on. But how is this the solution? He's out there buying new stuff like crazy -what are we going to do with 2 queen size beds and 2 dvd players & 2 tvs? He signed a 1 year lease.
I feel like if i believe him im a sucker. But if i dont believe him, i dont know... I want to trust him, but everything seems to be a big contradiction. Any one have any idea? Im so confused! I hate trying to figure out HOW to feel about this.
Re:Any clue what this means caringmom: I'm sorry about this and what you had to deal with on your birthday. But think about it, he signed a one year lease somewhere else. He's buying things to furnish it. Only he can give you the true answer though. Unfortunately I think you already know what this means. I'm so sorry. If you 2 haven't tried counciling yet, see if he'll go. If not, you need to go yourself for help. Just because he's moved, doesn't mean you can't keep working on your relationship. Keep posting and we'll try to help you through this the best we can. I don't know your story, but I'm going to go back to read things to learn more about your situation.
Re:Any clue what this means dj: Sorry to say but be prepared for the worst, while hoping for the best.
Not wanting to scare you but my stbx did this as well, bought new furniture etc. all the while saying she just needed a little bit of time alone and that she would be coming back. She had little to no intention of doing this I found out later.
Lean on us if you need and I wish you luck.
dj
Re:Any clue what this means richmds: Look at it this way. He says he trying to help the relationship. You know what he has to deal with and what you have to deal with.
As CaringMom suggested try to get it worked on with a professional. There is still a possibility of fixing the relationship.
Dont concentrate on what he is buying or how long the lease is, because if the reply were different say I am never coming back what would it matter that there are too many DVD's or beds?
Re:Any clue what this means lee: I know it seems petty that im thinking "what are we going to do with 2 of everything". I just feel like its a bad bad sign. If he needed to "get away" briefly-, his family is close by & have empty guest bedrooms.
We did talk to a counselor & she wanted us to see her separately before working together. She said some really off the wall things to me-she wasnt a good fit-i felt like she was a little too combative. I dont know whether she was just trying to fire me up to take action or what. So, I am looking for a different cousellor, but my H liked her & still going to her. Maybe she is a good fit for him.
What makes me so crazy is all the mixed signals. First when I suggested he move out (Ill admit I was angry at the time & it was a really dumb thing to say) he was delighted by the idea. Now he has moved & suddenly he wants to work things out. Maybe he has learned the grass isnt greener? But that makes me scared & angry.
You all make good points. Thank you so much. And thank you so much for your compassion. I really appreciate it, it means a lot to me.
I have a lot to think about with this.
I am hoping that I can work through this separation menopause, Ive never expereinced so many emotions in so little time. Maybe next I'll have hot flashes!
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