Distance and parenting? yoshi: Hi, all.
I find myself in a difficult situation, and was hoping to hear from others who've been through similar things. STBX and I are both USans but have lives overseas since before marriage, and have 2 small kids (2 + 3). For a variety of reasons, concurrent with the divorce we're moving back to the US; however the only place I found a job is in Chicago, and she won't move there - she grew up in Florida and hates cold; also she needs a support system, and has difficulty building one. And if their mother is in awful shape, it's bad for the kids too... So, the current idea is I move to Chicago, she moves to Florida (with the kids) where her parents and many relatives live, and I fly down 1 weekend a month, plus winter/spring vacation (I'm an academic), and 6 weeks in the summer. The idea being when the kids get old enough to travel, they'll fly to my place for vacations.
Financially, it should be feasible. But has anyone out there done this and maintained a good relationship with their kids, and how do the kids grow up? Fortunately for me, STBX right now is very supportive of my being with the kids as much as possible, and I hope that doesn't change. But I'm somewhat (read: very!) apprehensive about being so far from my kids! And not being part of their daily life (telephone calls, even daily, only go so far...)
Any thoughts?
Thanks!
Re: Distance and parenting? Newby: I personally never dealt with this as a parent but did as a child. My sister and I were a good 6 1/2 hour drive from my father. We did fly alot once we were old enough. Before that my parents would meet half way. He also traveled for his job so he could come and take us to dinner etc. This worked out fine for us and reason being is my parents made sure it did. They remained friends. The only bad thing was when we got older. Older children tend to not communicate as well and my father wasn't involved in some very important things. I know now he just didn't know but I would make sure that you know EVERYTHING that goes on and make sure if you can't be there...then send them something to let them know you know it's important. You'll do fine. :-) I am glad it worked out the way it did...my dad would have KILLED my sister and I if he lived too close! haha! :-)
