ugh. .. I've fallen, but I'm trying to get up down south xhubbie: My stbx wife and I have been doing so well getting along with one another. This has required me to "hold" my tongue at times. For example, on at least three important occasions, I have been unable to get in contact with her despite the fact that she has a cell phone.
Occasion #1 was when I was trying to deposit her child support check. She still hasn't given me her account number and the bank couldn't find her in their new computer system. I tried to call her at work. They said she was out to lunch. (you got that right!) When I tried to call her on her cell, I was never able to get her on the phone. I tried for 15 more minutes and then gave up. Granted I had driven 30 miles to make this deposit so it would go through faster. She knew I was going to make the deposit. tongue holding #1
Occasion #2 I called her for over an hour when I had to take our son to the ER. When I finally reached her, she didn't show up at the hospital until a little over 3 hours later.
Occasion #3 Just this morning, I went to her bank again to make a deposit. Their computer sytem was down at 9:15. I hung around town for another hour and fifteen minutes. Their computers were still down. From the bank, I called her at work. they said she was off for the day. I called her once on her cell and once at home still at the bank. Then I stepped outside and called her several more times both on the cell and at home. She has an answering machine so I was totally confused. By the time I got home it was 11:10am. I work 3rd shift and I had to be up by 4:30pm to get my son. Occasion #3 that I passed up to tell her off.
Guess what? When I finally got in the bed at 12:00pm, I was nervous about oversleeping. At 1:38, I woke up in a panic thinking that I had overslept. I must've unplugged the clock at that time, because I woke up at 5:20pm. My son's daycare was to close at 6pm. While I was about halfway to the daycare, I got an angry call. She said that she had been trying to call all day. I was nice to her and apologized.... BUT then
I checked my cell phone. She had called one time at around 5pm instead of "all day long". The voicemail was very very ugly. She said that since we have a son together that I should have a way for her to get in contact with me. Her tone was very harsh and judgemental.
How dare she do this?
We really got into it when I called her back. I put on a movie for my son and I 'let her have it'. I told her how low down I thought it was that she didn't show up at the hospital for our son.
When I asked her to give me a receipt for the cash that I would be giving her, she refused. She was insulted that I didn't trust her. ::)
long story short here... she can talk to me any way that she wants. If I do the same it's 'harassment' and I can 'deal with her lawyer from now on'. ::)
Re:ugh. .. I've fallen, but I'm trying to get up RecoveringinDE: Sounds like she is the one not doing anything to keep the peace. Good for you for letting her have it. She deserved it. I am not one to condone things like that, but, I can't stand women who don't put their children above their own needs. Or who don't make efforts at all.
((Hugs))
RiDE
Re:ugh. .. I've fallen, but I'm trying to get up dj: south...hey my friend, we all fall from time to time. I've held my tongue many a times only to have it come out later. Just keep doing what you are doing...it will get better a little each day.
Re:ugh. .. I've fallen, but I'm trying to get up favoriteangel2003: Downsouth,
Hang in there!!! This is why they say, "Divorce Is Painful!!!" Keep taking the highroad...don't stoop to her level. ;)
Angel :)
Re:ugh. .. I've fallen, but I'm trying to get up brokenman: Yeah, there is a point to which you should not stoop to her level, but only a point. Not being able to get ahold of her is really something that needs to be addressed. She has a lawyer, do you? If you don't then do what she said, call her lawyer over everything. If you do, call your lawyer and have him call her lawyer over everything. It can get pricey but she is chosing to let the phone ring. Perhaps this will help her pickup and deal with reality.
