Re:insecurities moser: Tossed -
I know what ya mean. I certainly don't need my ex around to insult me, I've been beating myself up pretty good lately.
I don't know which is more disturbing. The bad dreams or the good dreams. When having good dreams, I'm at least sleeping peacefully, but I hate the couple minutes after waking and realizing that it isn't real, I'm not peaceful at all.
I for one have big expectations for 2005. I will allow myself to be miserable through Christmas, but that's it 2005 has to be better than the last year.
insecurities tossed: Ok so Im going to be a bit transparent here.
In the last few months Ive discovered quite a
bit about myself. Im a insecure man. The events
in my life recently have brought such intense
emotions Ive had no choice but to examine them.
My fears have ruled my life. My relationships with
people are completely tainted with it. Its sickening
I wonder If I am even capable of a mature
relationship friend or otherwise. How does one
change whats at the core of their being. Is it even
possible or our we doomed to live crippled in the
mind, chained to what we have lived. Im like a
woman who will only marry men who beat her.
I developed in a shame/religion environment,
picked a woman who picked up where my parents
left off with the disregard and marginalization.
holy sh*t Im slipping into some self pitty. I should
go....
Re:insecurities cadillacjack: Yikes! lighten up on your self there, you are in a depression/funk.....breathe, don't be so quick in blaming yourself.....work on healing.....keep posting....we're here
Re:insecurities tossed: Yeah I had some fu*ked up dreams last night
woke up several times crying. Left me kinda dazed
with this taste of the dreams like they were
yesterdays events not a dream at all.
[me=tossed"> breaths.... [/me">
thanx...
Re:insecurities whathef?: FA,
From what I've learned through this journey is that your "feeling" about this being from the way we were raised, IS the only explaination for why we or spouses do what we do.
How many times do we see the paterns of the parents repeated by their children.
Some choose to learn leesons, such as siblings who have done things differently, but if we don't learn the lessons, we are bound to keep making the same mistakes until we do.
This explanation goes a LONG way in dealing with the emotions of a break-up.
When we understand why we or they do what we do, the understanding of that alone releives some of the anger and hatred some of us feel.
Take a look at your childhood and SEE the lessons that we learned about marriage from about the age of 2 or 3.
It's those lessons and beliefs that we take for a "test drive" in our own lives.
I've crashed and burned twice so far.
I now know what it was about ME that attracted me to the women I chose.
Proof of this being the case is that any therapist worth their salt will not spend a whole heck of alot of time on the other person, but most of it is spent dealing with our own issues and why we allowed what happened to happen.
