Re:how can you tell a guy is homosexual? OldSchool: I'll go along with Bubba's points there.. very much in agreement, except for the being raped as a kid thing. Since I wasn't and don't know anyone who has, I don't know how that would affect a guy. I would say personally, it wouldn't turn me into a gay person... no idea.
And yeah, what good would come out of this. Isn't the real question, whether he loves you or vice-versa. That should be the most important thing. Now if he's acting like Jack on 'Will and Grace', then you're suspicions could be right.
OS
Re:how can you tell a guy is homosexual? seth: First of all, I believe that sexual "orientation" is largely determined by nature (something in the amagdalya?--I can't spell it) by how male or female hormones such as testerone affect the fetus in vitro, but there just might be a significant "nurture" element to it b/c it's just so complicated.
I think of myself as 120% heterosexual but I think that sometimes people are all along the spectrum, not just in three neat categories of hetero-, homo- and bi-sexual. There are an awful lot of effiminate "straight" (I prefer the term "normal" ;)) and there are a lot of aggressive heterosexual women out there....
It's a spectrum.
I'm interested in this topic a bit b/c my ex left me for a woman and never hid the fact that she was bi-sexual..... But she blamed me and said she wasn't attracted to me anymore. What a jerk. She should have been honest.....
I think your instincts are probably right about your husband..... Many people don't switch teams until later in life, and their spouses pay the price. I know. I never thought that as a then-28 year-old man that I'd be dumped by my gorgeous ex for a fat, dumpy, loud-mouthed lesbian!!!!
Man, I sure didn't see that coming. Call it hubris, call it ignorance, maybe it was the cloud of marijuana smoke obscuring my judgement, I don't know.... I kick myself for getting burned like that....
Anyway, he sure does sound like a lost cause for you. My motto after my ex left was "Move-On-Dot-Org." It's a cliche but it's true.... Try not to worry about him anymore b/c it doesn't reflect on your attractiveness. For a while, I actually believed that I had gone terribly downhill and my self-image was really hurt. Now I'm starting to realize that there are an awful lot of women out there who actuallly DO like men.
Hang in there....
Re:how can you tell a guy is homosexual? seth: Oh, and about the rape. My ex suffered a terrible childhood fraught w/ neglect and alcoholic parents, and was later promiscuous and was raped on a number of occassions as a young adult.
She's still in therapy and has been on multiple antidepressants for years. I hate psychologists and I believe she's terribly over-medicated and that "medicines" are dangerous....
But sometimes rape does influence this sort of thing. I don't know, you'd have to ask a real quack.
--Dr. Seth :o
Re:how can you tell a guy is homosexual? Bryan in VA: Didn't I see this on Jerry Springer??? Read on!!
My STBX had an abusive drunken father & possibly more happened(I'm guessing). I found out after she left me that she was very promiscuous before I met her. I guess we never had that talk!! For four years before I met her, she was having weekly sex with her best friend's husband. This went on for 4 years!! I never knew. Her best friend never knew & she was in our wedding. The STBX took on the role of the "Normal" wife for 10 years with me because I am a "Good, Stable Man". She fell in love 3 months ago with the OM. "The greatest man in the world". The OM told her that he is having sex with other women & she was "OK" with that relationship. They even went to adult sex clubs together. I had no idea. He was raped until age 14 & is now a swinger & has many female sex partners. The OM's STBX called me one day to talk. She told me that she thinks he is BI. My STBX tells me that they share common experiences & have the greatest emotional bond.
In my case the STBX & the OM had "Extreme Problems" as children & they are drawn to an extremly promiscuous lifestyle.
Just my 2 cents.
Re:how can you tell a guy is homosexual? Bubba: AloneandCold - yes I know you are right. The stupid language filter changed what I wrote, hence it came out incorrectly.
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