I just left after attempted sex with stbxw Daniel: WARNING: This post is sexual in nature so stop reading if you don't want to read about my failed sexual mishap. But I edited out the graphic details, so it's pretty tame now.
So my stbxw came back from Japan Thursday. She was kinda jet-lagged so things went fine. Then tonight she decided she wanted to have sex. This was one of our big issues (lack of it). She said she'd been h0r2y the whole time she was gone and was waiting to get back and have a go at it. I've pretty much already moved on, but with so much riding on it, I thought it would be intense make-up sex, so I thought I'd see what she'd do. Very un-seductively she said we should go upto bed. She didn't fling herself on me or try to turn me on or anything. Getting in bed was more like getting ready to goto sleep then anything else. I told her that I didn't want any penetration, but wouldn't mind making out and then seeing what happened. She said "then what's the point?" We have to "do it". That's her plan for the night, and she'll keep me up until we do it. So I try running my hand through her hair and down her neck and back. Her body doesn't respond. She can want to do something and say she wants to do it, and probably really does, but her body doesn't show any signs. She kisses me, but there's nothing there. No intensity. No real connection. She then goes down on me, but I could care less. If this is the best it's going to be, then there's no future. I get up and leave to the guest bedroom saying that I'm going to go to sleep by myself . She follows shortly and starts complaining that she's so into it and ready, but I'm not helping out. I gave it a chance, but your body is smarter then your brain. It sucks. Sex with her has always been infrequent, and then when we have it it's bad. I'm the stupid one, because I knew from before we got married that she was the worse person I'd even been in bed with. But I was dependent on her. Bad sex or killing yourself. I think I made the right choice at the time. Back to now ... She says that she has to have sex tonight. She doesn't care if I have feelings or not, we just have to do it. If not she says she'll just do it on her own. She doesn't care if I'm awake or asleep. She'll get it hard and just do it. She said that the sex is actually great, but that my condition and meds are not allowing me to experience it. Not! (check my post about Thanksgiving weekend). She then went down on me again and started at it. I started crying. It really is over. In the back of my mind I was hoping that things would work out, that I was just out of my mind, but this really is it. I pushed her away, got up, put on some clothes, and left. I spent the next hour or so looking for somewhere with all night internet access. Most places around here close by 3AM, so I was out of luck. I finally found a 24hr Kinkos, and here I am writing on ojar. I don't know what to do.
-Daniel
Re:I just left after attempted sex with stbxw favoriteangel2003: Daniel,
We could have done without some of the sexual details but oh well, here we go....
You don't need for me to tell you what you already know do you???
It's over...but I know you know that.....you need to move on. Sorry.... :(
Angel
P.S. If it bothers you to see that than maybe you should try therapy. You need to decide if it's worth it.
I hope this helps....
Re:I just left after attempted sex with stbxw RecoveringinDE: I agree with angel, a little explicit, but you did advise that at the beginning.
Reading what you said she was saying, it sounds like she was trying for something completely different. With her saying you HAVE to do it tonight, sounds like she is trying to get pregnant and forcing you to stay with her. Sorry to say that, but there it is.. Are you familiar with her cycle? Can figure out if it is the "right" time of the month for this to happen. Not trying to start trouble there, but with the terminology that you said she used, that's what it sounds like.
Just my opinion. Sorry this happened hun =(
((Hugs))
RiDE
Re:I just left after attempted sex with stbxw favoriteangel2003: Daniel,
Watch Out! Like Ride said that could very well be the situation.....BUT hormones can make you say that and be that way too....especially if it's been awhile.
Just wanted to add that too...
Angel :)
P.S. I know Daniel warned us in the beginning ...I am just saying we could have done without the visuals and still understood what he was saying...that's all... :)
Re:I just left after attempted sex with stbxw caligirl: Considering her choice of words- it sounded like she had some urgency, a plan for an outcome.
As RiDE mentioned above, could be that time of the month to get Prego....
Just be aware and think about what kind of a dialogue you next want to have with her about that...
Good luck...
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