Comments on spousal rape Daniel: [quote"> It was more like attempted spousal rape. I felt threatened and feared for what might happen, so I needed to get out of there and find a safe place. I feel mad and ashamed at the same time. Usually you'd expect the guy to be the aggressor, but there's always an exception.[/quote">
I'm just quoting myself from a different post. Just to let anyone know that if you're going through this, or have had this happen to you before, you're not alone, and it does go both ways. I never really understood the concept before, but now I do.
-Daniel
Re:Comments on spousal rape AloneandCold: It might be more common then people would think. I actually had it happen a couple times in my marriage.
Re:Comments on spousal rape in_search_of: http://www.ojar.com/boards/index.php?board=25;action=display;threadid=5999
I hope amola does not mind, but I thought it fit.
Re:Comments on spousal rape amess: Accusations of rape are not to be used lightly. In that first post of yours, where you describe the encounter, not at all does it sound like rape. " I wanted to see what would happen." Please read the defintion of rape again. Not to say you didn't feel angry or ashamed, but that in itself is not rape. What exactly did you fear might happen? Again, in describing the encounter, I don't get it. You were not forced into that bed, nor to stay in it, nor were you held against your will when you left. You say attempted? Were you not a willing participant to begin with? You changed your mind, it was not right. That I can accept. You didn't like the way she was. That I can accept. But the other............. please be careful how you use that word.
Re:Comments on spousal rape in_search_of: I just want to be clear on what I read, from what I understand, after initially consenting, you decided that the act was not a good idea, and then told her no. If that is the case, then any further activity fits the definition of rape commonly used.
"Any forced sex act, before, during, or after any initially consensual sexual touching or penetration. “No” means no. And, no may be stated at any time during any sex act."
Another appropriate definition, does not require that there be a clear cut no, but rather that there be a lack of effective consent.
"Rape is any sexual intercourse, anal, oral or vaginal, however slight, with any object, by a man or a woman, upon a man or a women, without effective consent."
The other thing, that I just thought of, is that there are actions short of "rape" that also can be just as harmful, and criminal, sexual assault is just as harmful to a person's mental and physical health as rape and can be defined in the following way: (note that the actual criminal definition will change depending on where you live, based on local laws)
"Sexual assault is a generic term to describe intentional sexual contact that is made without consent. It can range from kissing and touching to penetration. Consent is an important concept. People cannot give consent when they are not in full command of their thinking capacity – for example, from alcohol or drug use."
Click More for the next page.
