Re:Comments on spousal rape in_search_of: Additional information has never hurt anyone, at least, not that I know of, over the long term, the more educated you are about any particular issue, the more able you are to protect yourself, or get help if neccessary.
*Hugs to all, as this is a tough tough subject to admit, and a harder one to deal with!*
It is very difficult to tell what really happened from the post, however, I would be reticent to say this was or was not any activity based on the information. However, the possibility is there that there is information that we do not know. And I would also encourage anyone in this situation to seek law enforcement asssistance and legal assistence in determining if it is or is not rape.
Further the idea of rape in court, and the psychological idea of rape are quite different. Perhaps this may not hold up in court, however, the emotional and psychological repercussions, are not all that different in a prosecuted rape and an unprosecuted rape. The same fault, guilt and disgust comes from the situation regardless of whether the court finds there is a rape, if in the mind of the person involved, there was a rape.
Re:Comments on spousal rape amess: Yes, it is difficult to tell what happened from the post, and that is the point. There is another person involved, who is being accused of attempted rape. No one knows the whole story except the two people involved, so using that word, and accusing someone who cannot defend herself, even if she did start the sexual contact, is problamatic. Guilt and shame, in this case, can come from a lot of other resources as well. As for court, did you not give us definitions that the law would uphold? The same questions that would be asked of the accuser. I agree that one should seek help from the police and other agencies if this happens immediately, but to accuse a person who cannot defend themselves, on an open board, is not to be taken lightly. Especially in a divorce. Great attorney fodder.
Re:Comments on spousal rape in_search_of: As far as what the law would uphold, I am sure that you know that changes from state to state, however, that is not the important thing here. A poster is feeling violated, and whether he was "raped" or not, he is feeling the same feelings after the fact, and the resources for rape counseling and sexual assault victims may be helpful. And regardless of his situation, the information may be helpful to others in the same situation.
In knowing definitions of situations, we can seek appropriate resources for treatment, aid, and assistance. Thus the point of my post.
Re:Comments on spousal rape amess: Due to TOS, you have every right to post your opinion, no matter how skewed. As for the law, I'm way ahead of you. Have a nice Sunday ;D
Re:Comments on spousal rape Daniel: The thing was I started out wanting to give it a try without any form of penetration. Then after I gave that a chance and she wasn't following the rules I said NO to the whole thing a went to a different room. The "gave it a chance" refers to what hapenned in the first room. Once she came into the second room, and started at it again, I of course protested, but she didn't stop and that's why I started crying. She didn't care. I knew I had to leave or it wouldn't stop. I don't care what the legal definition of anything is, I'm just stating what I felt and what I feel now, and it isn't pleasant. Guys are emotional creatures too, but some of us just keep it in most of the time.
-Daniel
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