decorating for christmas....MY way amola: dear stbx...
i just wanted to let you know that i decorated the house for christmas this weekend (but of course you know that because you had to come over today to take "your" computer desk but i won't go there) and i did it MY way. i put the garland and the lights up on the banister like i wanted to, even though you always said that it would look stupid.
i went to wal-mart with all 3 kids and bought a real tree....a 6 1/2' one...got it home in the trunk of the escort...got it into the house and standing up straight. and i did it without your help.
i got the lights hung on the outside of the house like i wanted to. borrowed a ladder from a friend of a friend and did it all. myself.
decorated the tree with some help from the girls before they got bored. and i put all the old ornaments from my childhood on it. had to dig for them because they've been stuck in a box for the past few years because they were too "ugly" to go on YOUR tree in the past. well they're on mine, and they look great!
sat out all the christmas-y knick knacks that you always hated. they look fabulous! candles burning everywhere...the smell of the candles and the tree mingling together...not to mention the smells from the baking that i did today because i didn't have you around riding my @$$ to do other stuff the whole time....
and i gotta' admit...i thought that it would be hard to do it all without you. but you know what? it was much easier than i thought it would be. i have sat here for hours and tried to psychoanalyze my thoughts, and have tried to figure out when "the breakdown" is going to happen. but.....i feel so much more relaxed now without you here. i don't feel the constant pressure of living up to your expectations, i don't feel the constant feelings of failure when i didn't....i don't feel the embarrassment of you making fun of me in front of your friends and family...i don't feel the constant hurt of your mean comments to me around the kids.
i honestly feel that at this point in my life, i am so much better off than i ever was. i'm finally getting to live my life my way without your constant scrutiny and putdowns. i can do what i want when i want to and i have no one to answer to except for me and the kids.
so yes, i'm the one that kicked you out and filed for divorce....and for what it's worth, i wish that it wouldn't have ended that way. i always wanted the "happily ever after"...well, maybe now i'm getting it, but it's going to be on my terms. and darn it, it is going to be HAPPY. i will have to deal with you for the next 17 1/2 years on a regular basis, but i'm not going to let you drag me down with you. i am going to make it. i am going to make it without you.
who would have thought that something as simple as putting up christmas lights could be such an eye-opening experience????
have a great life, butthead!
Re:decorating for christmas....MY way favoriteangel2003: Amola,
GOOD FOR YOU!!!! :)
Angel :)
Re:decorating for christmas....MY way favoriteangel2003: Amola,
P.S. Merry Christmas Too! ;)
Re:decorating for christmas....MY way amola: thanks angel! i hope that you have a wonderful holiday also! :)
(dang, i love the way my lights look.....lol)
Re:decorating for christmas....MY way RecoveringinDE: That was fantastic! Good for you!
((Hugs))
RiDE
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