X-mas Decision Bubba: OK here is the situation:
1) STBX is suppose to have our son Christmas Eve, Christmas morning, Boxing Day (26th of Dec.) this year, and next year I would get him on thes times.
2) So last week I inform my stbx that I am taking the 24th off work to spend time with my son, and she will have to pick up him from my house late that afternoon.
3) I have plans to go out to dinner with a girl I am dating.
4) STBX e-mails me back and asks if I want to keep my son for X-mas eve and she will pick him up 7 am on X-mas morning.
So here is the decision. If I keep my son, whom is 2, I get to see him Christmas Eve, and first thing Christmas morning. Which means a lot to me to see him Christmas morning. But here is the downside. He is 2, so basically past about 5 o'clock, it is make dinner, clean up, bath, pj's, read a story, bed. Morning, if I am lucky he wakes up by 6am. Which means - quick breakfast, milk, change, pack, and not likely going to have time to open presents or anything. So past about 5 o'clock on the 24th, I get no real quality time with him, just mainly the work part of parenthood. So if I decide this route, I really don't get to enjoy x-mas morning with my son. Christmas Eve is shot cause he is so young he goes to be at 7:30. I give up my plans that I made. And my Ex gets to spend a romantic night and morning with the OM scumbag she shacked up with.
So what would people here do in my shoes?
Re:X-mas Decision rhondam71: I know that Xmas is full of traditions, but why not make a new one for you and your little guy. Even though I still believed in Santa, I opened gifts up Xmas eve every year with one parent then on Xmas day with the other... I was told that Santa came early to one parent's house because he knew I had to be at (Mommy's or Daddy's) house the next day. Wow did I feel special that Santa knew where I was and made sure I had Xmas at Mommy and Daddy's. It's just a thought for you. And you can still leave out cookies/carrots...just do it early evening. Kids that young lost track of time.
And if you decide to take him the day of the 24th instead...then ENJOY! Again, kids lose track of dates/time and what he WILL know is that Dddy is spending the day with him and loves him.
I hope it all works out!
Rhonda
Re:X-mas Decision RecoveringinDE: My question for you is: How well do you and your ex get along?
This year my daughter is with me and my ex is coming over in the morning to watch her open her presents. Which we are splitting jointly the cost for all gifts bought from both of us and just alternate where they go. Is there any reason that your ex can't just bring presents over that week and you put them under the tree and let him open them at your place? Then take him to her place with the toys from her side and you of course keep your side.
Just another suggestion. One thing I had learned though is, even though you know the ex is going to be with the other person, don't look at it as babysitting, but as extra time with your child. However, keep in mind. It is never wrong of you to tell the ex, Sorry, I already had plans that night.
Re:X-mas Decision Bubba: My Ex and I don't get along. She bought a house with the scumbag she was having an affair with. I don't look at it as babysitting, but I don't know if I am really gaining any extra time. I mean the time will be spent cooking cleaning, bathing, and then to bed. Wake up, bottle, breakfast, dress, pack and out the door. Likely wont have any time to open presents. So though I will love to see my son on X-mas morning, will I actually be spending anytime with him or just doing all the work. It would be like, if parents are together, if the baby cries you take turns getting up. Basically it is her turn to get up, but I feel like she is asking me to get up do the work, and she will stroll in an hour later and takes my son. If it was not till 9 am, it woudl be great. I would have time to watch him open gifts, etc. But he may not even wake up till 6:30! I just don't know.
Re:X-mas Decision RJM: Why wouldn't you spend as much time with your little one over the holiday as you can? I have a 2 year old too...you're right, the routine part of dinner, bath, getting PJs on and reading books does kick in around 5:00--but that's what parenting is. Besides, it's Christmas Eve and you can read Twas the Night Before Christmas and have a great fun morning. At 2, children are really starting to grasp some of the Christmas concepts...and it is fun
It sounds as if you aren't even officially divorced yet. The questioning of whether to prioritize a date with somebody you are dating under those circumstances to spending Christmas Eve with your child because being it might not be as fun doesn't sound right.
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