Re:X-mas Decision tyrogers: I agree. I have an 8 yr. old son and a 2 yr. old daughter. The parenting routine is somewhat time-consuming and you may feel as though you are not spending time with them; however, THAT is what they remember. They remember the fun bath time, they remember making a mess eating dinner, they remember who cooked for them, etc. Keep your child and make the most of it. Your plans can wait until the next time you have a night off. Alternatively, you could always invite your friend over AFTER the child is asleep. That way, no children see anyone coming or going from your home but you still get to spend quality time with the other person. If they have a problem with you being a single father, then you do not need to spend time with them anyway.
Much love and good luck on this decision!
Tyleena ("Ty")
Way Down South in 'Bama
Re:X-mas Decision Bubba: In Ontario you have to separated for at least year before you can even start the divorice process which then takes another 3 to 6 months to go through the courts, and that is if neither sides protest the divorce! So I won't be offically divorced till around this time next year at the earliest. Perhaps not even a few months into 2006.
Now I took off two days prior to Christmas in order to spend the extra time with my son. My son does take priority over a date, and to be honest the date doesn't mean a thing to me. The route of the issue for me is, I feel like I am being used by Ex. It is not like she is saying spend X-mas morning and I will pick him up at 9 am. She knows he usually wakes up between 6 and 7. So it just feels like she wants to spend some nice romantic thing with the scumbag, and leave me to do all the parenting, like always. I mean I love me son. I will have him the entire week, I will do it all alone. Which is great, I am very good at it. I just feel because she is saying pick up time is 7 am, that I am getting the shaft. I do all the work and she gets the benefit of the quality time with our son. But I really really want to spend the time with my son. I don't know. I just hate feel like I am being used by stbx, but I hate too not seeing my son. Grrrrrrr
The other thing is, my stbx has pissed me off. I mean, she hasn't seen her for a week. It is Christmas Eve, she won't get him next yeat at this time. My son, I am sure, will be missing his mother after week, just as he misses me after a week. And what does she do? She rather spend it with her freaking boyfriend, then be the bloody parent she is suppose to be. She, as usual, leaves me to be the sole parent so she go and live in la la land. I mean that is what is really bugging me. I am sure I will eventually just say yes I will take him, cause I want the extra time, but give me a break. I am getting sick of being the only one of us that seems to care about our son. I took the time off when he is sick. I take him to the doctor. I do all the damn work, and now she doesn't even want to see her son on Christmas Eve. It just pisses me off. I feel like she is using the fact that she knows I would do anything for my son against me. Just as she abused the love and trust I gave her in the marriage. I could care two $hits if I have spend the night alone, as long as I spend most of the time with my son. In fact I would prefer to spend time alone on X-mas Eve to spend with my son. I just hate hate being used by STBX!
Re:X-mas Decision RecoveringinDE: Bubba,
I've been thinking on this since I posted. I will stand by what I said earlier. It IS ok to say, sorry, I had other arrangements. I understand what you are saying. My ex wanted to switch nights with me so that he could go to a Halloween party with his gf. I flat out told him no, sorry, I had plans. And I did have tentative plans, so, wasn't entirely a lie. But, I do agree. She is his mother, she needs to take responsibility.
I know that you see what she is doing as viewing you as a convenient person to fall back on. And it's quite possible that she is. So, remember. The word no is ok to use. I certainly wouldn't look at you any less. Especially if you do all the work as it is, you deserve to go out as well and enjoy yourself. (let the flaming begin) But, to be a parent, you have to be human.
Re:X-mas Decision lifechange: Hey Bubba,
I feel for you. Here's my take on it. You sound like you really want to watch him open presents.....why not have him do it the night before. Who care's if it is 4 o'clock in the afternoon - would he enjoy it any less? Would it be any less special? This time is all about flexibility and creating new traditions for you and your son. This is one suggestion.
Second, why not have him on Christmas eve night and have him open his presents, but then tell your ex that you will bring him home that evening? Again, just a suggestion! Good luck whatever you choose.
lc
P.S. [quote"> I have plans to go out to dinner with a girl I am dating.[/quote">
Did I read this right????? Say it ain't so :(
Re:X-mas Decision gulfcoast: If it was me I would take every minute I could if it wasn't anything more than changing one of my little girls diapers. I come home from work day after day now and there is no pitter patter running to the door yelling Daddy and grabbing my legs. I would cut off my arm if it would get me more time with them. The love I have for them is so unconditional and the wierd thing about it is, my girls taught me that unconditional love. They make me somebody. If I were you man I would take him and keep him all night and read a nice christmas story to him and let him fall asleep in your arms. Who cares what the ex will be doing. You will be spending time with the most important person in your life. He will need his daddy till you die. I wish my father had been half of a man. I was just an obligation to him. Just my 2 cents.
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