To the next woman in my life computerperson: I'm going to do this unsent letter is a slightly different way…I'm going to write this for my next gf/wife:
Just so you know…I'm a 29 year old, completely self-sufficient man (separated right now, but will be divorced toward the end of 2005, f$#&ing Maryland law, I wish that could be now). I can cook, clean, iron, make home repairs, work on computers, etc., I don't need someone to take care of me, I want some to share my life with.
Just so you know…my best friend on the entire planet is female. I've never kissed her, it's not like that, so please accept it and drop it. If I was going to be with her, it would have happened at some point of the last 20 years and it hasn't and won't. I'll always be open with you about her and you're always welcome when I go out with her, but I'm not shutting her out of my life.
Just so you know…other than the normal things (no cheating, being honest, etc.), the only things I know I would like my significant other to do is:
--Do the little things for me, just because.
--Take your turns instigating physical encounters and have fun with it…all of it.
--Understand what I'm saying because I can have a unique and very odd way of saying things. Trust me, I won't me insulting or picking on you…I'll make sure you know when there's a real problem.
--Do not correct my grammar all the time (sometimes it's fine). I know I'm not good with the English language, but unless you want to talk some computer language, it's the only other language I know.
--Make me feel important on holidays and my birthdays. You don't have to spend 24 hours in my business those days, but please try to make me feel special.
--Try to have a good time with my friends and especially my family.
--Sometimes when I go out with friends and the person I'm dating I can get into a shell for some weird reason. Maybe it's jealously or nervousness or something…but I promise to be open to you about it, if you promise to understand and work with me regarding it. (I know that's a weird one, but it's the truth.)
--Accept that my computer is my private domain…my thoughts. If you can't accept that I'm sorry, but that's the way it is. Don't worry I will never cheat on you or lie to you, so ask, if you have a question about something, and be done with it.
--When we're dining out, I would like you to learn what's in foods so you can tell me if I won't like it when I think about trying something new. (That one might be a little demanding, but I want to try new foods, but I'm never entirely sure about it and I really appreciate someone helping me with that.)
--When/if we live together, please do you half of the housework.
Just so you know…I'm not about a big wedding, I'd like to go to Las Vegas or some island to get married because I want my marriage to get started on the right foot…having fun.
Just so you know…I have no plans of moving out of my current house unless it's a damn good reason, so if you want to be with me and it's that time, pack your stuff please.
Just so you know…I think I would like to have children someday, but after being married for a little while.
Just so you know...I have been hurt in most of my relationships, but I am a caring, honest person that can be a little bit of a smart@$$.
And just so you know...this letter might be a little choppy, but my thoughts can be somewhat random. I'm sure things will be added to it over time, just make sure you talk to me so I know what I need to do for you.
Re:To the next woman in my life Suddenly Single: CP -
Very good letter. It is good to think of things like that. Now you've got me thinking! Thanks! ;D I hope that when you are ready - you find that someone you are looking for!
SS
Re:To the next woman in my life computerperson: Thanks SS. I wrote most of the letter a little while ago and with my recent down-in-the-dumps feelings, I just felt I had to make a statement today. This separation is getting the better of me...today...and that's okay, it's something I have to go through as part of my healing process. However, I will get through it and come out a better and stronger person.
Re:To the next woman in my life Suddenly Single: CP -
You are right...unfortanatley, that today is a day you have to get through and it is part of the process. You will have more of these days to - but that is why this place is so great to come to. You will be better and you will be stronger. I guarantee it.
Stay strong - SS
Re:To the next woman in my life computerperson: Thanks again SS. I thought I had this licked pretty quickly, but I guess I was so busy that I didn't have a chance to work through some of these feelings. (Separated in July of this year.) Plus, going from 3 very noise girls always around to nothing is a little tough to handle all at once.
I've already had some breaks in my figurative clouds today and I'm doing my best to keep my chin up. I just never realized how deeply this affected me.
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